Saturday, February 7, 2009

Forty Two Days

We have forty two days until we are married! Woo-hoo! I'm just sitting here enjoying a nice glass of wine after a long Saturday. Murad and I had our premarital class today. Since we aren't getting married in a church, we had to find premarita lcounseling outside of a religious organization. Luckily, on September 1st, 2008 the state of texas decided to offer free premarital classes and waive the $60 marriage license fee to those who complete a course. Of course, Murad and I jumped at the opportunity. The class was good. We learned a lot about how we communicate and why we argue and how we handle our arguments. We did not like the conservative religious overtones that the instructor kept trying to apply. I just didn't think that was fair for a class offered by the state of Texas. It was just very one-sided. He even told Murad in the restroom that statistically our marriage was doomed to fail since we were different religions. Can you believe that? Why wouldn't you want to encourage love and understanding between different religions?
In addition, the instructor made a lot of cultural assumptions and reinforced gender stereotypes. One girl even raised her hand and asked why we couldn't challenge these gender stereotypes and try to be better people, but of course the professor came back with some bull shit answer. I just think he didn't really give men enough credit. He made men seem so one dimensional (sex-focused). My fiance is a wonderful, caring, sensitive man who is capable of showing his emotion. Sure we have differences because we're male and female, but why not focus on our similarities and how those strengthen our relationship, rather than our differences? Anyways, I felt the course was just a tad too Biblical (especially for a state course...if we were at a church, that'd be different) and too preachy and not enough interaction. I think he made the assumption that all Christians are the same way, but in reality we're all so different.
It's just ironic because Murad and I come from two totally different backgrounds, but we have the same world view. Both of our religions teach the same guiding principles. I grew up with two parents who love each other so much and I had that model to guide me into marriage. Murad saw the mistakes his parents made and that led him to his views on marriage. Our difference help to balance us as well. I'm the typical oldest child and Murad is the typical youngest child, but for some reason we work well together. I guess attending the workshop did help us to realize how much we not only love each other, but how well we work together. I know there will be rough patches, but I know we'll always get through it! I'm just so happy to be marrying my soulmate!
Okay, enough of my soapbox!
Wedding Updates!
--Can I just say how much I love to receive response cards in the mail. I actually check my mail everyday now!
--Murad and I picked out our wedding bands at Sam's Club. You heard right. SAM'S CLUB! We decided on simple platinum bands for the both of us. While I really wanted diamonds in my band, we just cannot afford them. I could've gotten white gold with diamonds in it, but since my engagement ring is platinum I have to get a platinum band. It's not good to have platinum and white gold next to each other. Murad and I decided that for our 10 year anniversary we'll each update. I'll get a platinum eternity band and he'll get a new platinum band with a diamond in it. We'll save our old bands for our children. I'm really excited. I know this sounds weird, but I love that Murad bought me platinum. I so wanted white gold when we first talked about getting engaged (because I wanted a bigger rock!), but when Murad told me how pure platinum was and compared it to our love (PURE!) I just melted. Murad can be so stereotypically manly, but he can be so thoughtful and considerate. He always wants the best for us!
--Pappy's Pet Lodge! So, I went there to find a place to house my two dogs, my mom's dog and my grandma's two dogs the night of the wedding. I absolutely love that place! The people there are so friendly and truly LOVE dogs. They're so interactive. I can't wait for Maya and Sam to go there. They're so friendly. We are so lucky that Maya and Sam are friendly too. They love people and they love playing with other dogs. Right now Trey is staying with us for a bit and it's so funny to see how they interact with him. Jasmine, my mom's dog, is not friendly and therefore, she will be in a private kennel. CiCi & Maggie, my grandmother's dogs, are very sheltered. My grandma has some strange habits with them. For example, her dogs don't play outside. Yeah, for real. Anyways, I highly recommend Pappy's Pet Lodge to anyone living in North Dallas.

Well, we've finally had some good news in our household:
--Murad got voted into UPC! This will be another boost to his resume or vita for grad school applications! He's already secured a celebrity to come to UNT next month. Since it was such short notice, they asked me to design the flyer! I'm so excited! Even though it's not a paid gig, it's a start. I'm hoping to start building a portfolio of things I design. I'm seriously considering doing some paper design stuff on the side! It's something I'm very interested in pursuing for the future. I love designing paper supplies. I had so much designing stuff for my wedding. I learned so much from making my save the dates (I would've made them so differently if I knew what I do now) and then designing and making my invitations. I'm also going to make my brother's graduation invitations.
--Murad and I are going to start volunteering. He's working on a big project for school and if we volunteer together, it will really help him out. We are going to volunteer at a center for pregnant teens about once a month. I think we'll start after the wedding. I know it means more on our plate, but I think service is so important. Plus, when you add something good to your schedule, you rarely feel the effects...right? I think this will be a good model for when we have kids. I defintiely want service to be a part of our children's vocabulary. I think working with pregnant teens will be so eye-opening for me. I mean, I know friends and family who have had babies at a young age, but I've never really discussed with them the daily worries, stress, joys, etc. I know this sounds weird but, teen mothers really fascinate me!
--My dad is out of the hospital! He finally went home on Friday. He was so sick. The flu really affected him and he was in the hospital for over a week and a half. He was incoherent and confused a lot of the time, so that was really hard for me. I just am used to my confident, strong dad, but he wasn't making sense at all. Just keep him in your prayers as he recovers and prepares to go back to work.

1 comment:

The Mama said...

Thanks for the update on your dad. He's been prayed for over here in T-Town! So glad to hear you have some interest in design-- how cool. And that marriage class sounds crazy. I can't believe a satate funded program had that religous overtone. And you're right-- in a church? OKAY!