And the winner is....

Wow, three posts in one day! Okay, so I'll post the picture of the winning flower girl dress. I'm also posting a picture of my wedding day shoes! I love them and my shower invitation that my bridesmaid (and best friend) Amber designed. I'm so lucky to have her as a friend. The invitations are beautiful and I know that she put so much effort into making them. I can not wait for my shower. I know she and Katie have tons of surprises in store!

Some pictures from Thanksgiving

Some pictures from our trip to New Jersey & Pennsylvania! Isn't Murad so handsome? I'm so in love! Okay, I need to stop gushing!

Pictures of my dogs

Because I love them! I took these pictures because I was going to use them to make Christmas cards, but I ran out of $$! Aren't they so cute! I put treats in the hats to get them to go after the hats, but they tried to chew them up without the treats

probably the hardest thing...

for me to find is the perfect flower girl dress. I want something that is not junior bride-ish and periwinkle, but that's impossible. All the periwinkle dresses have spaghetti straps and are A-line which is not my style at all. I found a cute baby blue dress that would work, but I'm afraid that it won't be purple enough to match the lavendar hue in periwinkle. I found a cute one that is ivory with a perwinkle sash. So, I need y'alls vote! Dress #1 is ivory dress/periwinkle ribbon ( I would like this to be reversed ideally, but this will do) I love the style of this dress...i.e. no spaghetti straps with poofy little girl skirt. Dress #2 is not the actual dress I found (lost the website), but it's the baby blue color I'm worried about. The actual dress is more of the style of the first dress. I could add a champagne or ivory sash to it, as well. Dress #3 is periwinkle and that's about all I like about it. hate the cleavage and spaghetti straps. let me know!

It's the most Wonderful Time of the Year!

It is actually cold here in Dallas! 37 degrees, but it feels so much colder outside! I love it and so do my dogs. It actually feels like Christmas. I feel like I'm starting to come out of my depression, which is surprising because winter makes you want to curl up under the covers. I feel good about my life and what is to come. I still get really sad, but the persistent feeling fades away. I'm ready to start really living!

Thanksgiving was awesome! Murad and I had a great time with his family in New Jersey. One of the highlights was going to the Thanksgiving Night Philadelphia Eagles game. Murad's dad got us tickets to the pre-game party. The Pre-Game party was held at the stadium in which the Phillie's play, so that was pretty cool (in case you didn't know, the Phillies won the World Series 2008). I, of course, took advantage of the free alcohol provided. We skipped the buffet because we were both pretty full from attending dinner at his aunt's house and his dad's house. We then ran across the street to Lincoln Financial Field for the Eagles game against Arizona. It was awesome to see Donovan McNabb come out. He crawled out like a lion. Murad's dad got us awesome seats, so we got to see all the action! It was so cold outside, but Murad and I were on a high; an NFL high! Thank goodness, the EAGLES WON!

The rest of the week, we mostly hung out at Murad's brother's apartment. We played Wii-bowling until 2:30am most nights. It was so much fun! I love that game! There were a lot of competitions going around those nights between Murad, Qadree (Murad's bro) and Joel (Qadree's roommate). Murad and I decided our next big purchase will be a Wii. We also found out that Abby is going to bring her Wii when she comes to stay with us.

While we were in NJ we got treated like queens and kings and I drank a lot while we were there. Murad's bro made sure I always had a beer in my hand (score point). We met up with Murad's old cross country coach and his fiance and I had quite a bit of beer and wine. While we were there, Murad's aunt and stepmom cooked us a feast of a breakfast one morning. We also went to visit his aunt and uncle in North Jersey who fed us as well. Lots of eating. Probably not good for me, but oh well!

We've had to adjust to reality, but luckily Christmas is just around the corner, so just a couple more weeks of madness. We started celebrating early by having people over for dinner on Saturday. We had our friend Christina (my bridesmaid) over along with our friends John & Shawndra. We met John & Shawndra at a relationship panel the day before Valentine's Day. They've been married for a little over a year now. Ironically, our friendship with them started because John and Murad got into an argument about religion and relationships. John argued that both people needed to be Christian, and Murad was like "no way, I'm not like that. " Anyways, we ended up becoming good friends with them, despite our differences. They are a really fun couple. Sadly, they're moving in July to Atlanta to start a church.

We're going to Kansas on December 22nd or 23rd. We're stopping in Meade to see Abby and her family. Abby is going to spend Christmas with our family, so we'll drive to Wichita on Christmas Eve for the service at my church. Then on Christmas Day we're going to my aunt's house for Christmas. My aunt and uncle have this huge building on their land that we use for family events. It is like a big game room with a kitchen, guest room and two bathrooms. It's going to be like a huge family reunion because a lot of us have moved away in the past year(s). My cousin Randi (who I am so EXCITED to see) will be there with her six children (her husband is overseas, so he won't be there). My cousin Micah and her husband will be there from Australia, and my aunt Lori will be there from D.C. Randi and my Aunt Lisa both have daughters Abby's age, so I think it will be a lot of fun for her. The next day we're heading back to Dallas with Abby (Murad has to work.) Then Abby and I will come back to Wichita on January 1st and then my wedding shower is on January 3rd Woo-hoo! Abby's grandma and aunt are coming, so they'll pick up Abby and take her back to Meade then. So a busy Christmas, but a good one. I'm excited! I know some parts of Christmas will be hard. We used to always do Christmas with my aunt's family (Philip's family) after Christmas. Usually my cousins would stay a couple of days with us afterwards, but we haven't done this in a while. Hopefully, I can reflect on the good times and those good memories.

I do have some things I need to get done over Christmas break:
do my grad school internship reflections
make my invitations
address my invitations
order a bird cage to use as our card holder
order table runners

yeah, I've kind of forgotten about getting married. haha! There is still so much to do, but I will get it done, right?
Well, I need to end this post.

Guess what...it's snowing!

Forgot to Post

I'm so excited for this...

So Blessed!

Well, my past couple of blog entries have been kind of blah! However, Murad and I are truly blessed.
1. We get to go to the Philadelphia Eagles game on Thanksgiving Day! Murad's dad got us tickets, so it will be a lot of fun! I've never been to a real NFL game, so this will be once in a lifetime experience for me. Yeah!
2. I work with a great group of people. Today, Murad's friend bailed on watching our dogs. Two days before we leave for New Jersey! AAAHHH! Imagine my frustration! I sent out a frantic email to my co-workers and so many people responded with help. I've never felt so much concern at once and it was true concern. We are so lucky!

Things have been going better. Friday and Saturday were extremely hard for me, but by Sunday I started feeling better. I do feel overwhelmed though. I have a ton of things to do before we go out of town, which is precisely why I'm procrastinating and updating my blog!

I also need to start doing wedding stuff! I had my make-up trial on Saturday. It was kind of disheartening. Even though my hairdresser is doing my hair & make-up free of charge, I think I might look into something else. We'll see. I am going to take some of my hair stylists tips to heart though. I am going to have a facial a week before the wedding, but I'm not going tanning.

I also need to find a place to buy alcohol that will let us return unopened bottles! Our venue allows us to bring in our own alcohol (nice! most of the places we looked at charged $20pp+ just for beer & wine) We can't bring in kegs.We're bringing in beer (two different types...any suggestions?), red wine, white wine, and then all the basic alcohols for mixed drinks. We're also doing a blue lemonade signature drink. Yummy! Our caterer brings everything else and also serves as our bartender.

Murad and I need to decide on when we're going to pre-marital counseling! IMPORTANT! I think it's something we both will benefit from. Even though we are so in LOVE! We have some issues that we need to remedy or at least work on before the big day. Communication seems like it's an issue for us. Even though we work through it, it would be nice to know how to prevent it.

I also need to decide on a florist. I'm thinking of using Central Market for our bouquets. I know it sounds weird to use a supermarket as your florist, but I don't care. I'm all about saving a buck. I want to use silk florals for the decor and for Abby & Kaylea's pomander balls. Murad and his guys will wear jeweled boutonnières. I want sort of pale flowers for us girls and blues & purples (with sunflowers for my Kansas heritage)for the little girls. I know it doesn't sound like it matches, but you'll see (or maybe you won't). Also, I'm ordering chair sashes to use as table runners (a lot cheaper than ordering actual table runners $10 for all tables vs. $10 for each table). I'm also ordering an antique bird cage to use as our card holder. So many details and only one day of our life! Oh well, it's the first day!

I can not wait for the days to come. Murad and I can not wait for the future. I'm excited for him to start grad school and to finish it so we can be rich (or better off than we are now)! He's decided to add North Texas (which is where he is working on his 2nd bachelors) to his list of schools to apply. I think he really wants to stay in Dallas. One reason he wants to stay is because the Cowboys always play the Eagles, so he can still see his team! Most important, right? Plus, he and I have really built our lives here. We have a good group of friends. We'll see if we can stay here though. We have at least one more year to decide!

Will it ever get any better?

I wonder this and it's been a question on my mind a lot this week. Yesterday my car battery died and we're not having an office Christmas Party. I think that made me have a nervous breakdown last night (not literally). I literally felt sick at the end of the day. I really can not believe we're having an office Christmas party. Nobody wants to volunteer their home and nobody cares enough to hang out outside of school. It's just sad. It's pretty indicative of how this school year has been.

On top of that I'm still having a hard time with my cousin's death. I can barely make it through the day without crying. I guess right now I'm going through the anger stage. I'm just so mad that he's not here. I'm so mad at him for putting us all through this. I'm mad because most people have good memories to remember their deceased loved one. I do, but they're mostly from when we were children or teenagers. When he entered adulthood, those happy memories were few and far between. He put our family through a lot, but it wasn't supposed to be over. He still had a chance to make something of his life and I just can not accept that he's not here to do that. I saw his last phone call to me in my cell phone last night while Murad and I were at dinner and I just lost it. I wasn't even looking for his number, I was just looking at old calls and there was his name. Uggh...

My other cousins, Philip's sister and bro, are supposed to come visit me soon, so I think that will help bring my mood up.

I need to start making my invitations, but every time I think about making them, I think that he's supposed to get an invitation and he's not. There will be no invitation for him.

I just hope my mood changes. This is supposed to be the happiest time in my life, but I feel my luck is bad and my attitude is so negative. I know I have so many things for which to be thankful. God has blessed my family in so many areas and he continues to bless Murad and I as a couple. I know I need to focus on those things, but sometimes it's hard. I'm hoping the holidays will help, but honestly I do not know what to expect. Murad and I leave for New Jersey on Wednesday morning. I am excited to get away, but I have so much to do to prepare. Plus, I will be away from my babies for almost a week. Sometimes I don't know how to sleep without Maya curled up at my feet and Sampson near me or right on the floor beside my bed. They're just so lovey and fluffy! I love relaxing with them on Saturday afternoons and watching them play at the dog park. I think if anything helps me to feel better it's being with them. They love me and always want to be near me. They're always happy to see me and I love it! I love them so much! I need to post pictures of them soon. I just designed my Christmas cards and they are of pictures of them tearing up Santa's hat! It's going to be so cute. Stay tuned for more pics!!!

I should note...

After reading my own blog, I realized that it is a healthy release for me in dealing with my emotions concerning my cousin's death. However, I do have a lot of things for which to be thankful.

When I returned on Thursday the first kid I saw in the hallway exclaimed, "Miss Woodard, you're back."It made my day. He's usually a pretty quiet kid in class, so I was a little shocked that he said that. My kids were great. I just felt as though I couldn't really allow myself to feel in front of them. I couldn't break down and that was hard.

Today, I woke up and I felt a lot better than I have in the last week. I'm still dealing with a lot of emotions and confusion, but things are better. I still have that guilt of moving on. I still want time to stand still and for him to be here.

Murad started a new job today and he absolutely loves it, so there is a positive.

There are only four months and six days until I am Mrs. Campbell. I feel a little behind. I need to start making the invitations NOW. I need to have them done by the end of this month. I'm not hiring a calligrapher (it just seems like a waste in my eyes because people throw away envelopes), so I have to hand address each envelope. I'm imagining that will take me a month and a half. I'd like for the invites to go out in early to mid January, so that i can have an end of February response deadline. I'm making menus (because they're fun) for the wedding and I need to know exactly how many people are coming. Murad and I ordered the most food possible for the wedding, so that if a high number of people show up we can cut back on some of the appetizers. My parents are paying for the food, so we need to keep that cost down (the shrimp is the first to go...sorry, Murad). I'm also making a seating chart (they're not fun).

On the East coast they do things very formally. Sit down dinners, open bar, seating charts, and menus are the norm. I'm used to buffet and beer Midwest weddings. So we compromised, but it seems like Murad got more out of it than I did: buffet, seating chart, open bar, menu.... . AND Murad doesn't even drink! However, on both sides of our family a traditional wedding is not always the norm. In my family and in the Lutheran church, we usually have the Lutheran church wedding with cake and punch in the church basement. We're Lutheran and that's just how we do things. My parents had a more traditional wedding with a church wedding and then dinner reception at a club, but they were an exception. Murad's family is sort of the same way with Masjid weddings and/or city hall weddings. Murad said his dad's wedding was the first formal wedding he attended. So, I think this will be a nice way for our families to vacation, meet each other and celebrate our marriage.

Our honeymoon: I'm so thankful that we get to take one, but it will be a long time coming! Murad and I decided to go to Punta Cana, Dominican Republic. woo-hoo! We originally planned to go in August of 09, but we're thinking of going on our one year anniversary, spring break '10. Why? Well we have a lot to do in '09. My brother graduates in May, Abby will be down with us for the majority of the summer, Murad needs to take summer classes and prep for the GRE. Right now, our priority, of course, is Murad's school, so we figure the honeymoon can take a back seat. Plus, this allows us to make sure everything for the wedding is paid off and that we have money left over to pay for his tests and grad school applications. We can save slowly during the school year for the honeymoon.

I need to get off my butt and go work-out, grocery shop and CLEAN! Then maybe start making invitations....

a little better...

I went back to work yesterday and it was hard. too hard. I felt like at any point during the day I was going to start crying. I probably went back too soon, but what can you do. The funeral was good. sad, but good. I felt comfort in being near my family. I felt like his spirit surrounded us. It was hard to see him there. I kept wanting to say, "get up, Philip. get up." he couldn't.

That night I dreamed of him and when I had to go back to work, I was met with great difficulty. I still can't wrap my brain around it all. I still can't get away from how he ended his life, rather than how he lived it. I know I need to separate the two, but it's just hard. I just want him back. I know I'm being selfish, but so was he.

Today was better. I was able to get through my day without feeling as though I was going to cry.

Even so, I feel like he's around me at work. In the current novel we're reading, his name is the same as the main character's. I have a student with a similar name. I have two students who are struggling to connect. And, of course, he's always with me.

vomit

I do not know what else to call this, except that. Ever since Saturday morning, I've had this nagging feeling in my stomach. And I'm pretty much vomitting everything that has happened since Friday night onto this computer screen.
On Friday night, Murad and I stayed up late. He was leaving for Kansas the next day to meet his daughter's teacher. He originally planned to leave Friday night, but I convinced him to stay with me. When I woke up the next morning to let the dogs out, I had a horrible feeling in my stomach. Like I needed to throw up, but couldn't. I attributed it to the massive amounts of coffee I drank the night before. I usually do not drink that much, but Murad and I were watching movies and chatting, so I wanted to be alert (he always teases me about falling asleep).
I was able to eat something, so I thought it was a passing thing. I then IMed my mom a little later about the shrug I decided I "had to have" and to see about my grandma's dogs. She couldn't talk because she and my grandma had just picked up their dogs from the vet. My mom said she would call me at night because she was going to follow my grandma back to her town. She said, "we can't get ahold of your cousin. we think he may have killed himself." Uhhh....the vomit feeling came back again. Without going into a lot of detail, my cousin lived with my grandmother and struggled with substance abuse and depression. He and I would go in and out of contact. Some months we would talk and text a lot and others we would not. We talked some over the summer, but only texted a few times in the last few months.
I told Murad and he asked if he should stay back. I told him, "no, it's probably nothing." and he said, "you know how your grandmother and mom exaggerate things." They do. But not this time.
I walked the dogs, took a shower and talked to my brother. I had an incoming call and when I saw my dad's name on the caller ID, I immediately knew. I frantically told Ryan I'd call him back and as I clicked over, I heard my dad crying into the phone. When my dad told me that my mom found him on the bed with the gun in his hand, I lost it. I kept it in until that point. I called Murad and, luckily he hadn't left the state of Texas, so he turned back around. I think all I did on Saturday was cry, ask a million questions and get angry. I felt so helpless and desperate. I felt horrible that Murad was consoling me, when noone could console or help my cousin. I kept trying to keep my mind preoccupied. I played on the internet, watched a ton of movies and for that time I could forget about it all, but when the movie was over, or when I could only read so many facebook profiles, the anger and sadness overwhelmed me. I stayed on the couch for about five hours straight, not because I was that depressed, but because everytime I stood up that sick feeling in my stomach returned. Despite, this I still planned to carry out my regular Sunday plans.
I think I got maybe three hours of sleep on Saturday night. I was on the phone most of the night and early morning with my parents. And on Sunday morning, things got worse. Luckily, I am in Texas, so I'm pretty far removed from all the drama going on. And while, I can't go into a lot of detail, there was a lot of family drama that day and it hasn't really ended. At that point, I felt so overwhelmed. I was trying to accommodate so many people. Murad had to step in and make decisions for me. I've never had that happen before, but I just needed someone in my corner to be like, "Ashlea, you need to do this. stop trying to make everyone happy." I was totally incapable of doing that and luckily he gave me the verbal bitch-slap I needed.
All day Sunday, I agonized over "why?" I just want to know what made him decide to do it that night. So many people have their own theories, and while they are all valid, it still doesn't answer all the questions. I know he was in a lot of pain, but not knowing how we could've been there to help him is killing us all. Even though he and I are only a year apart, I still think of him as my younger cousin and it doesn't seem right that he's not here. how does this happen? how did he get so low? I spent most of Sunday going through text messages and emails from him. I even perused a few suicide prevention websites, but none of them could tell me WHY?
Monday was okay for me. no stomachaches. I slept most of the morning because I had very little sleep Saturday and Sunday nights. Got all my stuff ready to go to Kansas. It was today when I woke up that the sick feeling came back. more family drama. and tomorrow....well, who knows what to expect. everyone in my family will be in one place. no more phone calls or texts....just face to face. I can only imagine how my stomach will feel. pray, if that's what you do...I just want to remember his life tomorrow, not just this one instance. He was a good person. He was so kind to everyone he knew and wanted someone to understand him. I hope that we can make it about him and not drama.

RIP Philip Andrew Francis

you are gone too soon. i'm so angry with you. my heart hurts. i cannot believe this shit is happening.

A great day in History

Tuesday night was such an exhilarating night at our house and across the world. I am so ecstatic to say that Barack Obama is the leader of our nation. I truly feel like this is God's plan. I always respect the person in office (although it was hard with Bush, but I knew that God had a plan), I have so much respect for him. I just feel as though his values and policies coincide so much with the values I have. I am ready for a change with our economic crisis and something needs to be done about our health care system. I also like his mission to help the middle class, while still helping those who are struggling. As someone who grew up upper middle class, I witnessed (and right now witness) my parents struggle to pay bills. Finally, someone recognizes that we need help too!

I just feel that Obama represents the true American. Many people feel as though he's not American because of his middle name, but he truly is representative of what our nation is becoming. We're becoming less divided. There are more interracial children today, than when I was a child. I just think it's beautiful and something that will help our nation become more tolerant of others. Okay, so enough of my soap box.

So, I think I'm finally at a place where I can start doing more wedding stuff. Things are slowing down at work ( I hope). Uggh...work is such a pain right now. I hate doing paper work. I just want to TEACH! Okay, that's my vent of the night.

...4 1/2 weeks till the big day. I can not believe it. Well, I got the paper to make the invites. Tonight I cleaned, did laundry and then started cutting out the belly band for the invite. I also made a mock invite. It turned out really cute. Although, I think I'm going to have Kinko's cut the text sheet because I wasn't as straight as I'd like it.

Well, Murad and I made a big decision this week....well I did, because in his own words, "Ash, I'm not romantic and shit. I don't care." Thanks, babe. I decided that we are going to see each other before the wedding. At first I didn't want to, but once I started thinking about pictures, I realized I didn't want it to be too dark. Our wedding venue has a cool entrance that I thought would be perfect for wedding party pictures. Also, our venue has a rooftop view of the Dallas skyline. So, I was thinking that Murad and I could do a private photo session up there before doing our wedding pictures. So, it will still be a special moment, just not the traditional moment that most have at their wedding.

If anyone has $60 I could really use it. When I was home two weeks ago, my mom goes, "Ash, what if it's still cold in March. What will you wear to cover your little arms?" (my mom uses the adjective "little" a lot when describing my hands and arms because she's my mom and she thinks they're cute...everything but my feet and ass because she has tiny feet and no ass...but I digress) "I don't know, mom. Do you have any suggestions?" "No." End conversation. Tonight, I was stumbling around on the knot and I came across a girl's blog. Her colors are similar to mine and she is purchasing a custom Victorian shoulder wrap shrug. I instantly fell in love! Perfect for my little arms! I'm posting a picture. Tell me what you think! I'm thinking christmas present to myself! I'm so in love!

Fall

So, I'm a little excited because we finally have fall weather here in Texas. My dogs will finally stop shedding (which means I don't have to vacuum everyday or carry a lint roller with me at all times).

Last night was Halloween. It was a nice night for me. I came home, Murad and I voted, then we went to eat some yummy food at Black Eyed Pea (who by the way is catering our wedding!). I had cornbread fried chicken, brocoli rice casserole, mac n' cheese and state fair cookies for dessert (state fair cookies are friend oreos). Yummy! I didn't eat the cookies until I got home last night. After we ate, I proceeded to start cleaning our apartment, but then Melanie and Kelan called me from the bar, so I went and met up with them while Murad went to a movie. It was a very chill Halloween. Sadly, we didn't have any trick-or-treaters. That is one of the downfalls of living in an apartment complex. So, I have to prepare to take down my Halloween decorations today.

Well, Murad and I have had some changes in our lives. Murad was in a car accident two weeks ago and it was a total loss. We started looking around for cars, but kept getting discouraged because they wanted like $2500 down and $650/mo. for a 2008 car. NOT KIDDING. However, we were able to talk most of the guys down to less, but we still weren't happy with their service.

So, last Friday, just before we were getting ready to go out of town, we go to the local Ford dealership. The guy was so friendly and helpful. He knew we were on a tight budget and he really advised us well. At first we really wanted a Ford Edge, but knew we couldn't afford it. Then we thought maybe a Ford Escape, but the guy told us we'd be disappointed because the Edge (a crossover) drives like a car and the Escape is more like an SUV. So, he points us to a sedan called a Ford Fusion. We fell in love with it. It is the perfect car for Murad! It's so nice and roomy, so when we take the dogs in it, they can lounge around. The best part is that it is a brand new car! 2009 Ford Fusion! We didn't put any money down and his payments are low! So, anyways, buy a new car right now. Car companies are hurting badly right now. We were only the 2nd sale of the day at noon. And the only reason they accepted our offer was because they were hurting to sell a car that day.

We then proceeded to drive the car to Kansas. We stopped at my parents' house Friday night. My grandmother was there with all her crazy dogs, so it was nice to see her. Then on Saturday we headed to Meade to see Abby. My has she grown so much. Her two front teeth are finally in and she was wiggling another tooth while we were there (stacie texted me after we left and said Abby pulled it out). She is definitely our little big girl. I'm so excited to finally be her stepmom in less than five months.

Five months...crazy! I'm going to order my paper soon and start making my invitations. I already bought the backing, and the belly band paper. I just need the paper for the text, which is also the same paper I'm using for the programs, so I might as well order it all at once. Oh, and I also need to buy paper for the maps. Geez, tons to do!

So, maybe it's because one of my best friends at work is pregnant, but I've been having baby fever lately. Which is so not me. I always tell people that Murad and I are waiting a long time to have a baby. Now, I just really can not wait to be a mom. Jodi, my friend, is so beautiful as a pregnant woman and I know she and Andrew will be wonderful parents. I just want that so badly for Murad and me. I know it's not our time and the Lord will bless us when it's the right time. Murad last night was like, "Ash, we're not even married yet!" Yeah, I kind of forgot about that. That should be the first thing on our list. Murad has been really sweet about the whole baby thing though. He was like, "I will love any child God blesses us with." And he will. He will be the best parent if the baby is ours, adopted, developmentally disabled, etc. He already is a great father to Abby and of course to Maya and Sampson!

We did decide to start a little sooner on trying for kids. Originally we were going to wait four or five years, but I think we're going to start trying in two or three years. If we do that it means I'll still have to work because Murad will be in grad school and his tiny living stipend will not cover a growing family. However, I think I can do it. I've got some ideas in my head. One is still teach, but not volunteer for everything under the sun. Another is work as an elementary principal. That may be a stressful job for a first time mom and principal. And my other idea is teach at a community college. I think that could be a lot fun too. We'll see. I know the Lord will point us in the right direction as far as family, finances and career are concerned.

Well, this is a really long blog. I'm going to stop right here (I really should when a Pulitzer prize for this fine writing).

A favorite forward!

A little teacher humor and a true story... people seriously need to learn to decipher the English Language....especially if they are going to create names for their children.

This is priceless!!! Suppose a new student enrolls in your school. Her name is Le-a How would you pronounce the child's name?
Leah? NO
Lee-A? NOPE
Lay-a? NO
Lei? Guess Again.
It's pronounced 'Ledasha'

Oh, yes...you read it right. The dash is not silent.
This child attends a school in Livingston Parish, Louisiana.
Her mother is irate because so many faculty & staff are getting her name wrong. So, if you see something like this come across your desk, remember the mother's statement, "The dash don't be silent."

thankful

last night Murad called me in a panic. "Babe, I was in a car accident." He was really worried and upset. I mean who isn't when they've just been in a wreck. He was really upset because it was his fault. "Babe, I feel like such a failure." He's had a hard month. We both have and this is just one more thing that we don't need. However, I am thankful that he was okay. It could've been so much worse. I'm so thankful that he was able to call me and not the police officer or paramedic. It made all my problems so trivial. I guess things like this happen to put things in perspective. I don't know what will happen in the next couple of days (especially financially), but I'm so thankful I'm here to share the hard time with him.

Miserable

I've been thinking a lot lately about my spiritual gifts. I need to get a lot more involved in church, but I feel like I have no time. Thinking about this made me reexamine my career. This has been the worst year by far. I have work I should be doing right now, but I thought I better clear my head before I begin. I know the fall is always crazy, but seriously IT SUCKS! I'm seriously questioning whether or not I can stay in this profession. I just need some sort of reality check. Someone needs to say one of two things to me:
1. "Ashlea, you're an amazing teacher and you would be silly to leave this rewarding profession. Things WILL get better."
2. "Ashlea, you have so many other talents. Why aren't in another profession that can offer you so much more growth"

The question is, what can I do besides teach? I love teaching, but I do not love all the administrative stuff I have to do. Some of it is mandated by the state of Texas, so I can't not do it. I'm also questioning why I'm going to school to be an administrator. That would be such a stressful job. Even if I was an elementary school principal (which is what I would do), it would be stressful.

I don't know if I will leave the teaching profession, but it just felt good to get that off my chest. I just want things to get better. I want there to be a light at the end of this dark tunnel.

Texas State Fair

This is truly one of my favorite times of year and a great part about living in Dallas. Murad and I have had a rough couple of weeks at school and work, and we were able to set aside our worries and attend the Texas State Fair. We love the overpriced food and fried delicacies. We promptly arrived and grabbed hamburgers and something to drink. We then made our way around the fair, stopping to see all the attractions. We then found Fried Hostess Twinkies. We hadn't had those so we ordered them. It was like a sugar high. Delicious fried batter with sponge cake and cream inside....yummy! We then found my favorite....fried oreos! I could eat those every day! We also ate cotton candy and the classic funnel cake. Here are some of the other fried foods you can eat at the Texas State Fair:

fried peanut butter jelly sandwich

fried ice cream sundae

fried guacomole bites

fried cheesecake

fried coca-cola

chicken fried bacon

those are just some of the foods available....

We then made our way to the Latin American displays in Hall of State. We found the Dominican Republic display and talked to the couple running it for a while. The wife is from Santo Domingo, which is where Murad's grandmother grew up. It was fun to learn more about his heritage and answer some of the questions we both have. We're keeping our fingers crossed that we will be able to go to the Dominican Republic for our honeymoon in August!

Lastly, we made our way to the Auto show. We picked out all the new cars and the ones we're going to buy. Murad picked the Dodge Charger and I picked the Dodge Caliber. Not that we can afford to buy new cars, but we can dream, right?

Well, I've attached some pics. Enjoy!

Blah

I've been feeling like blah lately. My school year has started off kind of rocky. I just feel so overwhelmed and disappointed at the same time. Luckily, my kids are great so that helps me get through each day. I feel like each day I come home with more to complain about to Murad. I'm sure he's sick of hearing it, but he's very supportive. He keeps telling me that I need to roll with the punches and be creative, but it's hard. I guess I'm just feeling that teacher burn-out everyone talks about. I just need to get out of the funk. I need to get my groove back, or as Tish calls it, her kiwi.

I don't know how to end this blog effectively (Geez, I sound like my students when they write essays "I don't know how to end this, so that's all for now.").

Blah.

Eagles Lost

Boo! The Eagles lost! Good game though, but still upset!

Evolution of a Bridesmaid Dress and other musings

Isn't it ironic that when I decide to give up on wedding planning, that it beckons me to it? Why, why must you call me? I just want to go to work, spend time with my fiance and "kids", hang out with my friends, and talk to my family without having a conversation about "the wedding." However, that is impossible.

"Ashlea, how's wedding planning going?"

"Ashlea, did you go to Michael's and get some ribbon with the 50% off coupon?" MY MOM

"Ashlea, did anyone warn you NOT to order dresses from David's Bridal and that they SUCK!"

Well, I had started out with a beautiful Bill Levkoff dress that I was going to have my bridesmaids order off the internet. However, even with the discount, the shipping and everything was still more than I was comfortable having my bridesmaids spend ( I didn't want them to spend over $150). Plus, they had really weird sizing. So, I found an identical dress at David's Bridal. I set up an account at one of their stores and told my bridesmaids to order it by September 16th. Katie and Amber both got theirs ordered, but Amber called me and told me that it was being discontinued. I immediately got on the phone and checked into sizes for my remainig bridesmaids and they were out and were not making anymore! DAMN! David's Bridal is not flexible at all and they only do exchanges even though it was totally their fault. So, I kept picking new dresses and a bunch of them were being discontinued. I found out why, it was the color...Champagne! Then, I decided okay I'll just have them wear Periwinkle dresses....no, no, it was a discontinued color as well. "They're spring colors," said the saleslady, "Why don't you pick something from our fall collection?" My wedding is March 21st. WHY THE HELL would I order a "fall" colored gown! I eventually found a dress that works perfectly for my bridesmaids. It's totally different than what I wanted, but I love it and I think my girls will look stunning in it. My mom and matron of honor (Katie) both like it better than the original dress, so I think that is a good sign. So, I'm posting pictures of the three bridesmaid dresses. The first one is the NEW dress. The 2nd one is the original dress (Bill Levkoff) and the 3rd dress is the discontinued dress. Imagine it with a periwinkle ribbon tied around the waist. I still need to pick that up!

On another note, not to bitch about the hurricane, but damn, it's really cramping my style. How, you may ask? Because, I haven't recieved the scores of the test I took almost two weeks ago. I'm pretty sure I failed it, but I just want a confirmation. It was by far the hardest exam I've taken for this program. The test is modeled after the TeXes Administrator's Exam. Guess I shouldn't be a principal. On another note, I need to start on my internship. Basically, I just need to start recording everything I've done that can count as internship hours. Luckily, I've done a lot. Unfortunately, I'm not very organized, so it will take a long time to straighten out!

Sorry this blog post has turned into a bitch fest, but just one last thing. SAMPSON! Sam is turning into such a pest. He's so mean to other dogs. At first I thought it was just big dogs, but he's even mean to little dogs. I'm just so embarrassed when we go on walks because every dog is scared of him. Then if he doesn't get his fill of attacking other dogs, he just turns and attacks his sister. He does this way too many times a day. I tried taking them running in the mornings, but I had to start bringing Sam back because he hated running so much that he started attacking Maya. Plus, Sam has been chewing parts of the linoleum in our kitchen (can't wait to see if our pet deposit covers it). I keep trying all the behavioral tricks that our trainer taught us, but he's just a little butt! Then last night, Murad was trying to get Sam off the bed and he started growling at Murad. Murad was pissed! We do not handle disrespect well, even from animals. I used to expect this kind of behavior out of Maya just because she's kind of wild and a free spirit, but she is so awesome now. I wish her brother could be. It's weird because people like Sampson better because he's real chill and for some reason people think he's better looking. However, Maya doesn't warm up to people well, but she's so friendly with other dogs. They're just two totally different dogs!

Well, Murad has officially started the grad school search. (there is one good thing in this post) He talked to a psychologist at his job last night who basically told him that he would be an ideal candidate for a doctoral program. Plus, with his grades and experiences he shouldn't have any trouble getting financial aid. This is such an exciting time in our lives. Not only are we getting married, but things just seem to be falling in place everywhere else. I know that all Murad has ever wanted to do is to get his Ph.D in pyschology. When I first met him he talked of it, but he knew that he would have to go back to school and improve his grades. So, he's back in school, sitting in classes with people who are years younger than him just to get a second degree and get into grad school. I'm just so proud of how far he's come. On another note, as I write this blog the Philadelphia Eagles (Murad's team) and the Dallas Cowboys are playing. This is the last game in Texas Stadium. *tear*

Go Eagles!

Election Central

Well the DNC and RNC have come and gone. I loved watching the DNC. I didn't care too much for the RNC. It was a little boring! I really was excited about John McCain's VP choice. When I first saw her I was like, "Wow! What a beautiful woman. She looks good for five kids." I also really admired that she stood by her daughter through a hard time. Then, I started reading up on her. There are rumors going around that her youngest son (born in April) is actually her daughter's child. While the rumor does seem believable, I really hope that it is not true. And while, I try not to let people's personal choices affect my opinion of them in politics (business or work for that matter too), I have a hard time seperating the two. However, since I'm not voting for McCain/Palin, it doesn't matter, right?

I read that prior to delivering her baby, she leaked fluid. She then got on an airplane and flew 12 hours. Doesn't that seem a little odd? Okay, so that one may have just been a error in judgement. However, after the birth of her son she only took three days of maternity leave! THREE DAYS. I just think as a woman in politics, she needs to stand up for the rights of women. With her taking only three days, it's like saying women don't really need maternity leave. And while I know she probably has a whole team to take care of that baby, it's not the same as a mother's(errr...grandmother's?) care. In addition, the little boy has down syndrome and I feel that three days is not enough time for the mother of any child, let alone the mother of a baby with special needs.

I know that it doesn't really matter in the large scheme of things, but it does matter to me. I know that when I become a mother I will want to take a lot of time off for work to care for my children. I hope and pray each day that Obama gets elected. However, if for some reason McCain wins I worry that he picked a candidate just to get the Hilary vote and not one who would fight for the rights of women.

Okay, that's my soap box and now I'm off!

Updates!

Wow, it's been so long since I posted. Well my car is driving like usual. No broken windows or stolen satellite radios...thank God!

School is going great. I do feel like I've gotten meaner this year. Not on purpose, maybe just with experience. For example, yesterday in class my student whispered to me, "Miss, your fiance is CUTE!" I just started laughing as I was passing out their papers. Another student across the room goes, "Wow! Miss Woodard actually smiles." Yep. I guess I need to smile a bit more, but I think I'll wait...

Wedding plans are going great! Murad picked out his tuxes although I haven't seen them. He's going to surprise me. We're taking a little break from wedding planning. I was just getting a little stressed out from it all and it was causing stress and chaos between us. Now, I'm starting my wedding day diet. Even though my wedding isn't until March, my mom wants to have my dress done in December. I'm having the hardest time losing the last five pounds. They are just so stubborn! So now it's serious calorie counting and exercise. That's how I lost all of my weight two years ago. I also cut out alcohol..except for "special" occasions! No more wine with dinner...

So now I'm just picking up little things here and there. For example, when I see a 50% off coupon for Michael's I'll go and pick up ribbon and stuff, but nothing major. I also found a lady who is selling me 67 votive candles for $10.00. They're slightly used, but will work perfectly for our wedding. I also ordered my veil today. I was so against having one and then I decided I needed one. However, I was NOT going to spend more than $30...impossible, right? No! I decided to go the nontraditional route and buy a birdcage veil. It's so cute. My mom is going to add rhinestones to it. And, it was only....$15. $15 compared to the $200 veils that some people buy to wear for just the ceremony. Now, I need to find bubbles and bubble guns. I think I'll just buy four or five bubble guns (one for each of the honor attendants and one for each of the flower girls). I think this will be cute for our grand exit! I'm getting excited that it's only six and a half months away!

Well in other planning news, after researching a bunch of options, Murad decided that getting a Ph.D in Social Work would not be a good move. It's more of a lateral career move and the amount of student loan debt he would incur would not be worth it. He sort of found out that a Ph.D in Social Work is only good if you want to do research. So, he's going to apply for a Ph.D in Counseling Psychology which would allow him to do research and work as a therapist. So far he's narrowed it to two schools to which he definitely wants to apply: UT and KU. We're also researching options in Dallas, but there aren't really any here. In addition, he'll apply at other schools too. I'm really excited about this change. I think this allows us more security, as a psychologist would make more money than a social worker. I hate to focus on the money, but there is more funding for psychology programs than social work programs. Even though he has some connections to people who know about social work funding, they aren't secure.

He also shows great promise as a psychologist. His first degree was in psychology, he used to run group therapy sessions and his current minor (with his second bachelor's) is in psychology. Whether or not we stay in Dallas, move to Austin or Kansas City, I welcome the change and am excited to see where the Lord takes us. We are so blessed to have found each other and I think that no matter where we are, we'll be happy as long as we're together...with Maya and Sampson, of course! I think ultimately this will allow him to pursue his interests while still doing what's best for our family, which is always his first priority. I'm so happy!

Of course why am I happy...because we have a plan! I'm all about planning. Planning weddings and planning life...but I know the best things do come when I don't plan. That's how I met my wonderful man. I couldn't have "planned" a better man!

Cool vs. Not Cool

Here are some cool things
1. Organization: I feel so much more organized this school year! I love it. My classroom is so cute. Everything is all daisies and sunflowers (red & yellow) with a little a hint of Kansas (KU posters). I even have a little vase on my peer conference table that is filled with (fake) purple daisies. I organized all my file cabinets. I have a new system for turning in work. I have all my special ed, tutoring, ESL, parent files organized where I can get to them! I love being organized!
2. My new mentee and my old one. Well, I'll talk about my old one first. She's not old because she's at least two years younger than me. This is her second year teaching and she and her husband are welcoming baby Wyatt around Thanksgiving. She is the BEST reading teacher around. Her students are so lucky to have her.
My new mentee is Emily. She graduated from OU with a degree in English (yeah, another out of state girl!) She is awesome. Great go-getter attitude and strong work ethic. I think we'll be great friends and I think she'll be a great teacher!
3. New Jersey- We bought our tickets for Thanksgiving. I can't wait!
4. My fiance. He truly is my partner in life. I hope I impact his life as much as he has impacted mine. This weekend he was truly my savior. When my car got broken into he took care of everything. He always has my back.
5. my students- I'm so excited for this school year. My kids are so little and scared. That will all change...

Not Cool
1. Waking up at 6:45am yesterday to walk my dogs and discovering that someone broke my car window and stole the XM radio Murad bought for my birthday. NOT F-ing cool at ALL!
2. Having a $500 deductible on my insurance. NOT F-ing cool. My wonderful fiance paid for it all and everything was fixed when I got home this afternoon. Today was his day off and he did it all for me! He cussed the insurance people out too. Thanks, babe!
3. Not cool: mean teachers. I love the teachers with whom I work....most of them. I don't appreciate being called a "pretty girl" in a condescending way. I will tell you to your face and if you don't like it tough shit. I also don't like it when experienced teachers try to make new teachers feel like crap.

That's pretty much it for my cool vs. not cool list! Enjoy

Happy Birthday, Murad, Sampson & Maya!

Today is Murad's 28th birthday, as well as Sam & Maya's first birthday. So hard to believe they're a year old. Actually it's not hard to understand especially since they are HUGE. Sam is 70 lbs. and Maya is a bit over 50 lbs. Crazy! I started running with them (not far so don't get your hopes up) Sam is not much of a runner. He tries to attack Maya the whole time. So now, I walk them both then I drop Sam off at home and Maya and I go run. I love running with her. She loves to run and she's so energetic. It's like our mother/daughter bonding time...cheesy, I know!

Today I talked to Abby and I was so proud. Today was her first day of school (1st grade). She is growing up so fast. I miss her so much. She sounded so mature on the phone. She sounded so different than the little girl who spent the last month with us. I've only known Abby for a year and a half, but I still feel like my baby is growing up. I guess all my babies are growing. I remember when Sam was just a little tyke and I could cradle him in my arms. Now he is a big lug. I love my family. I'm so blessed to have them all.

Speaking of family. I was able to reconnect with some of my cousins and one of my uncles. It's hard when people divorce and life drifts you away from the people who share your history. I found my cousin on facebook and we exchanged phone numbers. On Saturday we talked on the phone for four hours. It was so good to hear their voices, catch up and see how similar we are despite our different upbringings. I know growing up I felt a lot of anger towards my parents and uncles for not keeping us connected, but I see that my parents wanted to shield us from a lot of things and allow us to develop our own opinions once we got older. However, it still hurts to know that all this time passed without talking. Hopefully now the younger generation can pick up the pieces and bring our family back together. I've never been more proud and blessed to be a member of the Woodard family.

Tonight is my last night before returning to work. I'm did a lot of cleaning this weekend, so today was just chill. I'm enjoying a glass of wine, watching TV and working on wedding stuff. My two dogs are passed out and my fiance is at work (I know crappy that he's working on his birthday). I got my hair done today and I got bangs. I thought I needed something fresh and funky for the new school year.

We are nearing the 7 month mark until the wedding. I can not wait for this day to come. I keep thinking about our future as a couple and I can not wait for it. I can't wait for the wedding, honeymoon (hopefully*), buying a home, continuing our education, growing in our careers, getting more dogs and of course having BABIES. I can't wait for the ups and downs of marriage and how we'll get through it.

Hopefully, after Murad graduates next fall we will know if we are staying in Dallas or not. He's applying all over for his master's/Ph.D, but will do his best to stay here. If we stay in Dallas we're definitely buying a home here in North Dallas. We decided we're not ready for the suburbs. His job is in North Dallas, my job is here (Richardson). Plus since we're not having kids anytime soon we can stay in a house for a while, build some equity and then move to the suburbs. We're just so young and we love Dallas. Suburbs make us feel old. I'm not looking forward to packing our stuff and repairing the damage our dogs have done...eek! Oh well, we have a year and a half to do all that stuff! We'll see where life takes us!

So, I have to brag on my fiance! He was nominated for employee of the month! I think he really enjoys his job. He has only worked there for a while, and he's been promoted and all the staff love him. He can also change positions (tech to social worker) while he's in grad school! He also received a tuition grant from UNT this fall for having a 3.5 GPA! This couldn't have come at a better time because we were worried about buying our plane tickets for New Jersey. Now we can definitely go there for Thanksgiving! YEAH! I can not wait for another PHILLY CHEESESTEAK! I've been craving one...

On that note, I'm off to get ready for bed! Say good-bye to Ashlea because tomorrow I'm back to Ms. Woodard!

Summer is officially over!

Well, my blog title sums it up. Summer is officially over. What does that mean?
1. Abby is gone -- we took her back to Kansas Tuesday. Being a mom is hard work, but I really enjoyed it with Abby. While I'm definitely not ready for kids yet, I would love to have Abby here more. My reasons are selfish mostly. I love having another girl in the house. I love having a singing partner and swimming partner. Abby was like my little buddy this past month and I'll truly miss her. We did have some rough spots and she had to see mean Mama Ashlea a handful of times, but I think she enjoyed herself down here in Dallas. It also allowed Murad and I to see that we have the same parenting expectations. I can't wait until we have kids of our own, because he will be an excellent father. He already is!
2. I have to limit my cussing to a few hours a day. For those of you who know me well, I do have the mouth of a sailor. For those of you who don't know me well, I hope I didn't shatter your image of me. It's cool though. I'm pretty sure I can make it through the day without slipping.
3. I went back to school today. Well today wasn't my official back to school day, but I went to meet with my new mentee and work in my classroom. I was a little pissed when I found out that someone took down all my notes from former students. They also took down all the notes of other teachers in my hallway as well. Jerks. Thanks for stealing my memories! Thanks for stealing the reason I get up each day to teach!
4. I'm going to be busy again. Not like I wasn't this summer, but at least my schedule will be semi-regular. Here are the list of things I'll be doing this year: co-sponsoring NJHS, chairing the Student Assistance Team and thus Red Ribbon Week, tutoring, mentoring one new teacher and one returning teacher, finishing up my master's, being a loving fiance, being a good mother to my dogs and GETTING MARRIED! Oh yeah, did I mention I'm doing a half-marathon in December?

No seriously, I am. I decided I need to get motivated to lose weight. Not that I am overweight, but honestly, I'm just not happy with how I look. Two years ago I successfully lost over twenty pounds and now I'm struggling just to lose the five that crept back on me. So, when my friend Melanie told me about the half-marathon, I decided to pounce on the opportunity. That means a new work-out routine which includes morning runs with Sam & Maya. Luckily, it's going to get cooler, so it'll be easier. Plus, I think my friend Allison is coming down from Kansas to run the full marathon, so it'll be great. I'm sure Murad will run the entire marathon too, but he'll kick our butts. Plus, I only plan to walk/run it not run the entire thing.

Anyways. Fall is upon us. I'm looking forward to a new school year and new experiences. I'm so thankful for all the blessings we have received thus far. Here's to a great 2008-2009!

A little sad and a little glad

I feel like this weekend has been filled with bad news....It all started with when I went to the gym. I got there a little late, so I had to rush my normal 45 minute routine into 30 minutes. Not so much fun. As I got on the treadmill I saw the headlines on the TV: John Edwards admits affair. CRAP! Not good for the dems and his political career is now over. He and his wife aren't the Clintons and they're not going to fight this like they should. Then I go to PetSmart to pick up a gift for my friend's dog's birthday party. I ran into a girl who bought a husky from our breeders. I asked how Pepper (her dog) was and she went into this long story about how she gave her away. "Too much work. She wanted my attention all the time. It was like having a child." I wanted to cry as I heard her story. I wanted to slap her across the face and say, "WTF did you think having a dog would be like?" Then I went home and as I let the dogs out, I noticed they had chewed up part of the linoleum in our kitchen. Not cool. Not cool at all. I'm hoping our renter's insurance will cover it when we move out. Luckily, we're not buying a house anytime soon so we're good until we move out.

Today, I woke up pretty late and as I checked MSNBC, I saw that Bernie Mac died. He was only 50 years old. I really liked him as a comedian and even though his TV show was cheesy, I enjoyed watching it. He will be missed.

On a brighter note, the dogs had a great weekend. Last night we started it off by attending Murphy's birthday party. I'm not sure what type of dog Murphy is, but she is adorable. Murphy's mom works with me at Apollo and we co-sponsor NJHS.

Today we met up with Murad's mentor Danny at the dog park. He just got a four month old Chihuaua/Rat Terrier mix named Trey. He is so adorable. Abby loved playing with him. We also ended up seeing Sam and Maya's old friends Diamond & Ace. We hadn't seem them since Sam & Maya were puppies. I'll post some pics from Murphy's party and the dog park.

Murad's Birthday

We decided to celebrate Murad's birthday early so that Abby could celebrate as well. Here are some pics from the fun night! Now Murad and I are up watching a Nip Tuck marathon.

It's Abby, B$#*$

Abby got her haircut this week!

Abby in her Fergie/Hannah Montana/Mariah Carey/Britney Spears mode. Future model? I think so!

Am I Crazy?

Well things are going really well with Abby. She is making an effort to make friends and on the first day of her truth test, she told the truth. So, we rewarded her by increasing her television time from one hour to an hour and a half. I think it was more like one hour and ten minutes, but she doesn't have to know! It's just so hard for Murad and I to stomach Hannah Montana, ugh! However, I really do like the show called The Wizards of Waverly Place. It's such a cute show and the lead girl character is so adorable. She's so much better than slutty Hannah. Oops, did I say that? Don't tell Abby!

I think she is adjusting to our home and our rules, but sadly she'll be returning to Meade in two weeks. However, Murad and I have vowed to spend more time with her and hopefully we'll get her more next summer. Woo-hoo!

So, I'm over halfway through my master's program in school administration and I'm already thinking about getting another degree. Am I crazy? I'm so stressed out with my current program, but I found this ideal program nearby. In fact, it's at the same place where Murad will do his master's and Ph.D in Social Work. Anyways, this program is a Ph.D in Educational Leadership and Policy Studies. The focus is K-16 research and policy which is an area in which I'm interested. I know I want to teach for a while longer, but I'd love to do institutional assessment and impact policy in the future and this program seems to align perfectly with my goals. In addition, the program is a cohort program and can be completed in three years including dissertation. In fact, the program is designed for working adults, so I can keep that income and not take out a bunch of student loans. We'll see. I know my parents and Murad would be ecstatic if I got my Ph.D. And with it being a three year program, I could have it done before I have kids or right when I have kids. Lots to think about. It's hard being a grown up. Can I be seven again?

Well, next week we are celebrating Maya, Murad and Sampson's birthday. Their actual birthday isn't until August 18th. However, we would like to celebrate while Abby is still here. Next Friday we're going to a birthday party for my friend Karrie's dog named Murphy. On Saturday, we're going to Texas Land & Cattle for steak dinner and then to Dave & Buster's for some fun! I can not wait!!!

Week 2

Well we've started Week 2, but not without some bumps in the road. This is Abby's second week of summer camp. Unfortunately, it's not going as smoothly as we had hoped. I know Abby is enjoying her time at camp, but she's not making any friends. She's lied to us about making friends, which I feel badly that we put a lot of pressure on her to make friends. We just really want her to be well-rounded and interact appropriately with kids her own age. I know it's hard for her especially being from a small town and she is also very self-conscious of her weight. So this week, Murad and I are going to teach her how to make friends and also get the lying in check. I know it's normal at this age to lie to please people and to escape getting in trouble, but we need to nip this in the bud before it becomes a problem. Another thing I realize we need to focus on is rewarding good behaviors rather than resorting to punishment for undesirable behaviors. It's sort of the same philosophy we used when training our non-human children. However, we can have conversations with Abby about how her behavior is hurting us, whereas we can't with Sam & Maya.

I will say that Abby has made some drastic improvements. She's adjusted so well to only watching one hour of television each day. She has her morning and night routine down to a tee. She knows in the morning that she is to eat breakfast (with no T.V.), brush her teeth, get dressed and make her bed. She knows that she's to take off her shoes when she enters the house and say excuse me when she burps. I'm so proud that she's becoming a little lady.

Sam and Maya love having her here too. Maya loves to sleep with her each night and they look forward to the long walks. Murad took Abby, Sam & Maya to the duck pond on Sunday night and they enjoyed themselves. Last night we headed to the local Baskin-Robbins. It was a fun night, but I have to admit I was upset by the lack of Baseball Nut. So, I settled for Peanut Butter n' Chocolate and Nutty Coconut.

Sunday night I had to say good-bye to a dear friend. My co-worker, Lynsey is embarking on a new journey. Two years ago she met the love of her life from Denmark. She got engaged to him over Christmas break and she's moving to Denmark today. She will be back next July to marry him in Colorado and I can not wait to see her again.

Well, I'm signing off for now. Keep the Campbell family in your prayers and keep Lynsey in your prayers as she journeys to Denmark.

Swimming

Abby's day camp didn't go swimming today (they shocked the pool), so we went swimming tonight!

Abby Update #2

Well today was Abby's third day at summer camp. I think she really is enjoying it. She LOVES the fact that she gets to swim each day. She's getting so tan and her hair is so light. She looks absolutely stunning. She got a little owie today at camp, but she's a trooper and wears her bandage with pride.

I think the camp is a little bit of culture shock for her. There are a lot of kids at camp compared to at her school in Meade. I think Murad said there are only 13 kids in her kindergarten class (I'd love to teach a class of only 13 kids!) . There is also a lot more diversity here. We chose the City of Richardson as her day camp because we really wanted to expose her to kids from all sorts of backgrounds. Richardson is a property rich district (damn Robin Hood laws), but we have students from all socioeconomic backgrounds. However, Richardson does have high standards of excellence in academics compared to most districts of similar backgrounds:

"A July 20, 2008 article in The Dallas Morning News reported on TAKS scores for area school districts and included an evaluation of the results. The following is an excerpt from that article.

"Pulling meaning or conclusions from the Dallas area's state testing results can be difficult. Our evaluation of the 2008 TAKS scores revealed these highlights

"Exceeding expectations

"Last year, Richardson ISD won accolades for exceeding expectations in a district that serves many poor students. This year, the district continues to show that trend.More than 34,000 students were enrolled in Richardson this past school year, and nearly half were considered poor.When compared with districts with similar demographics, such as Mesquite, Carrollton-Farmers Branch and Garland, Richardson students usually scored higher. Conversely, Richardson students do as well or slightly better than students in some wealthier school districts. For example students' math and reading scores in certain grades were comparable to students' scores in Plano, McKinney and Lewisville.
(sorry I had to brag on my school district)

So, as you can see Richardson really is a great place not only for me as a teacher, but for the students. I think Abby is going to gain more than she realizes by attending day camp here. She's exposed to so much. I think traveling to different places is the best gift parents can give to their children.

Well, as any mother, I do worry about her. On the first day of camp she told us that a boy was bullying her. "What'd he say, Abby?" inquired Murad. "Well, he said Hannah Montana can't sing good, but I know she can. He also said I can't do karate, but I can." Whew. Imagine our relief to find out it wasn't real bullying, but just healthy competition!

Today she went to Celebration Station and the movies and had a blast. She has two more days of camp this week and she starts a new camp next Monday. This weekend we'll probably take the dogs to the dog park and also get her hair cut. Her bangs are way too long. I can barely see her beautiful eyes!

Abby Update #1

Well, Abby is here in Dallas. It was a long journey to get here, complete with the typical, funny (and not-so-funny) mishaps that seem to plague the Woodard-Campbells.

Murad, Maya, Sam and I left for Wichita, Kansas early Saturday morning. Let me preface this by saying that Murad had not slept since Thursday. Yes, Thursday. He still insisted on driving and I proceeded to read him the Michael Jackson biography to keep him awake. The trip was fine until we entered the great state of Oklahoma. I-35 always has construction and Oklahoma was no different. There was one cone that was a little too far out and BAM; Murad hit it. We lost the driver's side mirror. Not the entire mirror, luckily....

We made it to Wichita and stopped at my parents' house. Murad placed the dogs in the backyard and we went inside to chat it up with my parents. About five minutes into our conversation the doorbell rings and my parents' neighbor is holding Maya. Yes, that's right. Maya jumped the fence. She loves to test boundaries.

Murad headed off to Meade, Kansas which is where Abby lives. The dogs and I stayed in Wichita that night to do some wedding stuff and visit friends. My mom has come pretty far with my wedding dress. I'm so excited for it all to be complete. And today marks the 8 month point. Only 8 more months until we are Mr. & Mrs. Campbell!!!! I'm still trying to find the perfect flower girl dresses for Abby and her cousin Kaylea. I really want something that is periwinkle with an ivory or champagne sash (the inverse of the bridesmaids), but all I can find is baby blue or something with skinny straps. I just don't think little girls should wear skinny straps. I'm almost positive Murad would not go for it. I did find a cute Ivory dress with a periwinkle sash, so if all else fails...

My parents made a big dinner for me that night (steak, mixed veggies and grilled zuchini). After that, I stopped by our friends' house. Murad and I attended Jennifer & Jason Cheng's wedding in May. They just recently moved into a new house, so I went over to check it out. Murad and I had hoped they would relocate to Dallas after graduating from med school, but they chose to stay in Wichita. Their house is great. Great location and great size!

After that, my matron of honor, Katie came over and we chatted it up for a while. Maya and Sam were extremely excited to see her. They love Aunt Kay. They seem to show their affection with tons of jumping, licking and scratching. Katie is a good sport though as she has two BIG dogs herself!

The next day, my mom cooked a big breakfast and I put Sam and Maya outside, but tried to keep an eye on them..... Maya jumped the fence AGAIN. This time she was at the end of my parents' street. Just chillin' in their neighbors' yard. She ran right back to me once she saw me which is good, because usually she bolts!

Murad and Abby made their way back to Wichita, but not before he got pulled over for the missing mirror. Luckily, he only got a warning. And we found out today it's not illegal to drive in Texas to drive with a missing mirror as long as you have two others. He's getting it fixed tomorrow. Luckily, it wasn't too expensive. We were envisioning $500 and it was more like $100. Whew!

Here are some funny quotes from Abby I'd like to share:

--Murad was driving and the song "Turn off the Lights" by Teddy Pendergrass came on and Abby goes, "Daddy, this would make a really good lullaby." Yes, Abby it would. A freaky one and one we hope you won't hear for a LONG time! Haha!

--Murad was talking to his friend about her baby-daddy. Abby goes, "Ashlea, is that a knee-high daddy?"

Today was Abby's first day at summer day camp. She absolutely loved it! I was a little nervous. Abby is used to having a stay-at-home mom and Murad and I both work and go to school. I was just very scared that she wouldn't adjust to the big city and being away from us all day. This summer camp is awesome though! It's through the City of Richardson which is where I teach. It was the last camp that was available, so I was worried that it wouldn't be great. It is though. The day camps in my area were not like this at all. In fact, they were so bad that my parents refused to pay for me to go to them. Instead, I rode my bike to the pool each day and my parents saved their money for me to go to church camp in Colorado. Ahh, those were the days. Even though kidnapping was big when I was growing up, I never feared riding my bike. But I digress...

Today, at camp they played outside and went swimming, which Abby loves. Each day they do something different and on Wednesday they will go to Celebration Station and the movies. I think she'll really enjoy it. Murad and I have afternoons off, so we may try to chaperone the field trip.

I know she misses her mom and her sister. Tonight, it was so cute when Stacie (Abby's mom) put Lexie (Abby's little sister) on the phone. "Abby, I miss you so much. You need to come back home." "I'm sorry Lexie, but I can't come home until after summer camp." Abby is so grown up, or at least she tries to be. Today she was the only one at camp who put her game away properly. She helped Murad and I with the groceries. She's becoming a little lady.

Well, I'll leave you with a picture from tonight. Doesn't she look just like Murad?