I should note...

After reading my own blog, I realized that it is a healthy release for me in dealing with my emotions concerning my cousin's death. However, I do have a lot of things for which to be thankful.

When I returned on Thursday the first kid I saw in the hallway exclaimed, "Miss Woodard, you're back."It made my day. He's usually a pretty quiet kid in class, so I was a little shocked that he said that. My kids were great. I just felt as though I couldn't really allow myself to feel in front of them. I couldn't break down and that was hard.

Today, I woke up and I felt a lot better than I have in the last week. I'm still dealing with a lot of emotions and confusion, but things are better. I still have that guilt of moving on. I still want time to stand still and for him to be here.

Murad started a new job today and he absolutely loves it, so there is a positive.

There are only four months and six days until I am Mrs. Campbell. I feel a little behind. I need to start making the invitations NOW. I need to have them done by the end of this month. I'm not hiring a calligrapher (it just seems like a waste in my eyes because people throw away envelopes), so I have to hand address each envelope. I'm imagining that will take me a month and a half. I'd like for the invites to go out in early to mid January, so that i can have an end of February response deadline. I'm making menus (because they're fun) for the wedding and I need to know exactly how many people are coming. Murad and I ordered the most food possible for the wedding, so that if a high number of people show up we can cut back on some of the appetizers. My parents are paying for the food, so we need to keep that cost down (the shrimp is the first to go...sorry, Murad). I'm also making a seating chart (they're not fun).

On the East coast they do things very formally. Sit down dinners, open bar, seating charts, and menus are the norm. I'm used to buffet and beer Midwest weddings. So we compromised, but it seems like Murad got more out of it than I did: buffet, seating chart, open bar, menu.... . AND Murad doesn't even drink! However, on both sides of our family a traditional wedding is not always the norm. In my family and in the Lutheran church, we usually have the Lutheran church wedding with cake and punch in the church basement. We're Lutheran and that's just how we do things. My parents had a more traditional wedding with a church wedding and then dinner reception at a club, but they were an exception. Murad's family is sort of the same way with Masjid weddings and/or city hall weddings. Murad said his dad's wedding was the first formal wedding he attended. So, I think this will be a nice way for our families to vacation, meet each other and celebrate our marriage.

Our honeymoon: I'm so thankful that we get to take one, but it will be a long time coming! Murad and I decided to go to Punta Cana, Dominican Republic. woo-hoo! We originally planned to go in August of 09, but we're thinking of going on our one year anniversary, spring break '10. Why? Well we have a lot to do in '09. My brother graduates in May, Abby will be down with us for the majority of the summer, Murad needs to take summer classes and prep for the GRE. Right now, our priority, of course, is Murad's school, so we figure the honeymoon can take a back seat. Plus, this allows us to make sure everything for the wedding is paid off and that we have money left over to pay for his tests and grad school applications. We can save slowly during the school year for the honeymoon.

I need to get off my butt and go work-out, grocery shop and CLEAN! Then maybe start making invitations....