No More Fast Food

That's right, folks! I've sworn off fast foods! I decided to do that until the wedding, but with Lent just around the corner, might as well make it Easter! Maybe if I can do without until Easter, then I can forgo it forever! I mean I might as well. When Murad and I have kids, I definitely do not want them to eat McDonalds, Taco Bell, and all that stuff. Those things can be reserved for when they go to the grandparents' or other kids' homes, but I just do want to rely on that stuff when we have kids. i know that's an ambitious goal especially since, I'll be a working mom, but I can try, right?

My reasons started out purely superficial and economical. 1. the wedding is right around the corner. I need to make sure I look my best and taking fast food (and my beloved wine) out of my diet will help me shed a few pounds. 2. Murad and I spend a lot of our budget eating out each month. So, I've made it my mission to cook more. I'm so lucky that my friends made me a recipe book for my Wichita wedding shower, so now I can cook more. I've also been researching quick and easy recipes on the internet. Murad is my guinea pig and so far, he's LOVED everything I've made. I figure if we can save money by not eating fast food we can splurge every few weeks with a nice dinner out at a nice restaurant!

Speaking of eating out....Murad and i had a nice dinner at Genghis Grill on Saturday. It's one of our favorite places, as we're both fans of Mongolian barbeques. It was a pretty low-key V-day, but spent with the one I love, so it was very special!

So, I'm very opposed to talking about money, but Murad thinks I should on here. I think when people use words like, "low-budget" and "low-cost" it can be very misleading. However, Murad was very impressed at how well we stayed in our wedding budget and how we've planned a nice wedding for a relatively (subjective) low-cost, especially for living in Dallas. So, I'm wondering if people (brides-to-be or wedding obsessed folks like myself living in the DFW Metroplex) would like to see a breakdown of how we planned our wedding? I will say we did receive many monetary gifts, discounts and free services. We also did without some things we wanted, but we had all the most important things. I probably will post it in the next couple of days or weeks, as soon as I have more things finalized. I will say that the average cost for a wedding is $28,800. Murad and I were under half of that average.

Designer Ashlea

designs include: bookmark gifts I made for the hostesses of my work shower and flyer I made for the University of North Texas. I can't figure out how to make the rehearsal dinner show up in full. I'll take a picture of the actual invite after the wedding and post on here. I'll also post a picture of my wedding invitations. I think they turned out so beautiful!

Happy Valentine's Day

So an update on the pre-marital seminar we attended last Saturday. Murad and I both received emails from the coordinator stating:

Future Brides and Grooms,

First of all, I'd like to say Thank you to each of you that took the time to come out on an otherwise busy Saturday to invest in the future of your marriages/relationships. It is with much chagrin that I have come to realize that there were a number of comments and statements expressed by the facilitator that were offensive and insulting. I apologize!

While Mr. P is a facilitator for I F, his views are not ours and they by no means represent the approved curriculum that he was certified to facilitate for the T in T program. The sole purpose of the classes are to help couples develop communication and conflict resolution skills and other tools for a strong relationship.

Inspiring Families is committed to helping families strengthen and improve the quality of their marriages and relationships through education and collaboration and our collaboration with ANTHEM is one where we receive professional training, technical assistance, and evaluative feedback to ensure that the T T program services are facilitated with integrity and no bias. Quality workshops is the goal of our service delivery so please be assured that the 'workshop experience' that you and your fiance experienced on Saturday February 7 is not a common or acceptable practice and we are dealing with the issue.

I welcome and encourage you to join us at any of our upcoming workshops. As shared in all my workshops, we welcome any and all comments and feedback and will do our best to make sure your workshop experience is one that you will remember for a lifetime!

If you have any additional questions or comments, please call or email anytime.

Again, Thank you for your time!

Small victory, but at least it won't happen in another workshop. We weren't the only ones who received the email, so I'm guessing others gave him a bad review as well.

So, we've had a little dog stay with us for the past couple of weeks and it just really reaffirmed how much I love Sampson & Maya. First of all, Trey is a great dog, but he is just a little annoying. Just a tad bit. Here are some of the things I love about each dog:

Sampson--our first born....well not our first born, but we got Sam first. Sam is truly our dog. If one of the dogs is sick and accidentally throws up or has diarrhea, Sam will try to hide the mess from us. I've caught him pushing his nose on the carpet trying to put something over the mess. Once Maya got sick and he picked up my jacket and put it over her mess. Wasn't too happy about the state of that jacket. I love how Sam will let Maya sleep in the bed, but in the morning he'll get up and come in the bed with us. Sam is not a very fast runner, but he does have stamina. He is a fighter though. I've seen him go to town on some other dogs at that dog park who looked at Maya the wrong way. He loves his sister. I also love that every other dog is intimidated by Sam. It's funny to watch dogs allow their beloved toys to be destroyed by Sam. Sam is just so regal. His body is so beautiful. At 80 pounds, we're convinced there is some Malamute blood in these huskies.

Maya--she came to us a little later, but she's from the same litter as Sam. Maya is our free spirit. She's adventurous, a natural hunter (she's caught a duck before), and she's our jokester. Each day, when I get the dogs ready for their morning walk, Maya loves to play a game with me. She'll move around so that I can't put her harness on her. When she's ready to go finally, she'll sit down and put her paw up. It's almost like she's saying, "I'm ready, Mommy!"Maya is also very loving. With Trey around, she has shown her maternal instincts. Last night, Murad goes, "Ash, she acts like a mother, but not really." I totally understood what he meant. Maya is our cool, free spirit dog who loves to play, but she's also very nurturing as well. Maya always is the first to go to bed with me. Both she and Sam will let me sleep in if I need to, which I greatly appreciate!

My dogs have such beautiful, kind, energetic souls! I could not imagine my life without them!

Well, I'm off to clean. I just wanted to give you some puppy love for this wonderful Valenttine's Day!

My New Favorite website

This site was passed along to me by my friend, Jodi at work. http://www.moneysavingmom.com/
I am now officially obsessed! This woman is awesome! She is so frugal and shares her lessons in home economics. She and her husband live in Olathe, Kansas. They are getting ready to buy their first home 100% cash! I wish I would've known about this site before Murad and I started saving for our wedding. However, I think it will help us save for a house. Murad and I live pretty well, but also not excessive. We're good at saving, but things got a little rough in the midst of planning our wedding and switching jobs, so the credit cards did get used. However, we have a good plan to pay it all off and still save for a house. I'm also going to help pad our savings and pay for part of my car repairs by working summer school. I do not think we'll pay 100% for our home though. Nice dream, but probably not going to happen for us. There are some things I just can't do....like move back in with my parents. No way!

This week at work has been difficult! So many kid, so many problems! I also just had a hectic work schedule. I only went to the gym once this week, which means I gotta wake my ass up early to hit the gym tomorrow. I love my students, but sometimes it can be so stressful. I hate having to be so strict, but some kids lack respect for anyone, including themselves. Of course, TAKS stress is taking over as well. I can't believe it is around the corner. March 3rd is the Writing TAKS. I do love teaching writing though. I love watching them realize that they are writers. Some of them have such original, fresh manuscripts. One of the downfalls of teaching in Texas is that you do teach to the test to a certain extent. One of my students goes, "my friend in California gets to do creative writing in her 7th grade English class." i guess she learned early that life is not fair.

So, my dad may finally going to retire. He was going to wait a couple more years and save more money, but how much of a difference can two years make? I'm just glad because his health has really taken a decline in the last couple of months and I just didn't think he realized how much working was affecting it. Luckily, my dad was smart and married a younger woman, so my mom can still work for at least ten more years. My dad will still work, just not full-time and probably not at his current job. I'm just so happy for him!

Forty Two Days

We have forty two days until we are married! Woo-hoo! I'm just sitting here enjoying a nice glass of wine after a long Saturday. Murad and I had our premarital class today. Since we aren't getting married in a church, we had to find premarita lcounseling outside of a religious organization. Luckily, on September 1st, 2008 the state of texas decided to offer free premarital classes and waive the $60 marriage license fee to those who complete a course. Of course, Murad and I jumped at the opportunity. The class was good. We learned a lot about how we communicate and why we argue and how we handle our arguments. We did not like the conservative religious overtones that the instructor kept trying to apply. I just didn't think that was fair for a class offered by the state of Texas. It was just very one-sided. He even told Murad in the restroom that statistically our marriage was doomed to fail since we were different religions. Can you believe that? Why wouldn't you want to encourage love and understanding between different religions?
In addition, the instructor made a lot of cultural assumptions and reinforced gender stereotypes. One girl even raised her hand and asked why we couldn't challenge these gender stereotypes and try to be better people, but of course the professor came back with some bull shit answer. I just think he didn't really give men enough credit. He made men seem so one dimensional (sex-focused). My fiance is a wonderful, caring, sensitive man who is capable of showing his emotion. Sure we have differences because we're male and female, but why not focus on our similarities and how those strengthen our relationship, rather than our differences? Anyways, I felt the course was just a tad too Biblical (especially for a state course...if we were at a church, that'd be different) and too preachy and not enough interaction. I think he made the assumption that all Christians are the same way, but in reality we're all so different.
It's just ironic because Murad and I come from two totally different backgrounds, but we have the same world view. Both of our religions teach the same guiding principles. I grew up with two parents who love each other so much and I had that model to guide me into marriage. Murad saw the mistakes his parents made and that led him to his views on marriage. Our difference help to balance us as well. I'm the typical oldest child and Murad is the typical youngest child, but for some reason we work well together. I guess attending the workshop did help us to realize how much we not only love each other, but how well we work together. I know there will be rough patches, but I know we'll always get through it! I'm just so happy to be marrying my soulmate!
Okay, enough of my soapbox!
Wedding Updates!
--Can I just say how much I love to receive response cards in the mail. I actually check my mail everyday now!
--Murad and I picked out our wedding bands at Sam's Club. You heard right. SAM'S CLUB! We decided on simple platinum bands for the both of us. While I really wanted diamonds in my band, we just cannot afford them. I could've gotten white gold with diamonds in it, but since my engagement ring is platinum I have to get a platinum band. It's not good to have platinum and white gold next to each other. Murad and I decided that for our 10 year anniversary we'll each update. I'll get a platinum eternity band and he'll get a new platinum band with a diamond in it. We'll save our old bands for our children. I'm really excited. I know this sounds weird, but I love that Murad bought me platinum. I so wanted white gold when we first talked about getting engaged (because I wanted a bigger rock!), but when Murad told me how pure platinum was and compared it to our love (PURE!) I just melted. Murad can be so stereotypically manly, but he can be so thoughtful and considerate. He always wants the best for us!
--Pappy's Pet Lodge! So, I went there to find a place to house my two dogs, my mom's dog and my grandma's two dogs the night of the wedding. I absolutely love that place! The people there are so friendly and truly LOVE dogs. They're so interactive. I can't wait for Maya and Sam to go there. They're so friendly. We are so lucky that Maya and Sam are friendly too. They love people and they love playing with other dogs. Right now Trey is staying with us for a bit and it's so funny to see how they interact with him. Jasmine, my mom's dog, is not friendly and therefore, she will be in a private kennel. CiCi & Maggie, my grandmother's dogs, are very sheltered. My grandma has some strange habits with them. For example, her dogs don't play outside. Yeah, for real. Anyways, I highly recommend Pappy's Pet Lodge to anyone living in North Dallas.

Well, we've finally had some good news in our household:
--Murad got voted into UPC! This will be another boost to his resume or vita for grad school applications! He's already secured a celebrity to come to UNT next month. Since it was such short notice, they asked me to design the flyer! I'm so excited! Even though it's not a paid gig, it's a start. I'm hoping to start building a portfolio of things I design. I'm seriously considering doing some paper design stuff on the side! It's something I'm very interested in pursuing for the future. I love designing paper supplies. I had so much designing stuff for my wedding. I learned so much from making my save the dates (I would've made them so differently if I knew what I do now) and then designing and making my invitations. I'm also going to make my brother's graduation invitations.
--Murad and I are going to start volunteering. He's working on a big project for school and if we volunteer together, it will really help him out. We are going to volunteer at a center for pregnant teens about once a month. I think we'll start after the wedding. I know it means more on our plate, but I think service is so important. Plus, when you add something good to your schedule, you rarely feel the effects...right? I think this will be a good model for when we have kids. I defintiely want service to be a part of our children's vocabulary. I think working with pregnant teens will be so eye-opening for me. I mean, I know friends and family who have had babies at a young age, but I've never really discussed with them the daily worries, stress, joys, etc. I know this sounds weird but, teen mothers really fascinate me!
--My dad is out of the hospital! He finally went home on Friday. He was so sick. The flu really affected him and he was in the hospital for over a week and a half. He was incoherent and confused a lot of the time, so that was really hard for me. I just am used to my confident, strong dad, but he wasn't making sense at all. Just keep him in your prayers as he recovers and prepares to go back to work.