Revisit

Last night Murad and I ate dinner in front of the tube and what came on MSNBC, but "The Carr Brothers: The Terror of Wichita." I immediately told Murad to keep the channel on it so we could watch it. He had a hard time understanding why until I fully explained what happened. Then he remembered hearing about the story as he had been attending Barton at that time.

Well the terror of Wichita occured during my freshman year of college, right after the death of my beloved grandmother. Things in Wichita changed overnight. I remember my parents, who had just recently gotten accustomed to me not having a curfew, suddenly stayed up extra late to insure that I made it home. I never wanted to go anywhere by myself. I never wanted to be by myself.

Immediately after watching the program, I felt paralyzed with the fear I once felt again. I begged Murad not to workout that night and to stay home with me. I also stayed alert and frozen the entire time he went to the grocery store to get some juice.

Watching the program also brought back a lot of feelings of racial discomfort. Because the Carr Brothers were black and all the victims were white, it brought back a lot of racial issues into our community. Wounds were reopened and it took so long to repair and I hate the Carr brothers for doing that. I hate them for what they did to their victims, but I also hate how they hurt the black community and ultimately Wichita's spirit.

I could tell Murad felt moved while we watched it. Afterwards, he goes, "I don't usually say this because I do not support the death penalty, but they got what they deserved." Did they? It will be a while before the severe, life-ending punishment will be administered. Until then, they reside in a maximum security prison seperated from the prisoners who may wish them harm. The two surviving victims must live their lives in fear. They will never know if the next person they meet is like The Carr Brothers.

As a teacher, it also made me fearful. I do not generally fear my students, but I do see the struggles they go through and wonder how they will end up later in life. However, Murad reminded me that there are a million people who grow up in circumstances like the Carr Brothers (homes with cold, unloving mothers, absent fathers, abusive parents, molestation, poverty) and they do not go out and terrorize people like they did. I just pray that I can make a difference on the lives of my students. I pray that no one ends up like them. I pray that no one has to suffer as their victims did.

Lastly, this story made me sad for Wichita. Watching it made me wonder if people think of Wichita as this little town plagued by murder. Not only do we have the Carr Brothers, but we also have the infamous BTK, who if he ever read my blog would be happy to see me reporting on him. However, I am not going to mention anymore on this man, or lack thereof. I do want to say that Wichita, despite those two instances, is a great place. I lived there my entire life and never once felt unsafe until the Carr Brothers and the reemergence of BTK. I would love to return there to live, but I think Dallas (a much more crime-ridden community) is my new home.

I just wanted to revisit something on which I had thought I closed the door on a long time ago.