Soup Kitchen

I'm retiring pale september, in favor of a new blog to document this new journey in my life! click on the title of this post or visit:

http://cookingwiththecampbells.blogspot.com/

One Week

Well, here we are exactly one week from the day we become man and wife. This time next week, I will have said my vows and will officially be Mrs. Campbell. I'm already getting excited. This week at work has been a lot of fun. First off, we watched a movie in my class for the majority of the week. This allowed me to grade and get my sub plans ready. Jasmine and I had fun modeling the Snuggie for our co-workers. I so want a Snuggie, but Murad told me our marriage would be doomed if I bought one. Jasmine and some other coaches got me a chenille throw that I wanted as a wedding gift. In my thank you card, I wrote that this would suffice instead of a Snuggie. Then, Jasmine and I had about a million conversations about how much we want the Snuggie and Jana, one of our school counselors, said she had one. She brought it up to school and let us "try it out!" Jasmine thought it would be funny to send the pictures to the entire staff at Apollo. I'm sure everyone got a laugh out of it!
Yesterday was my last day as Ms. Woodard. When I come back, I'll be Mrs. Campbell (well, technically still Ms. Woodard, but really Mrs. Campbell) Jodi went and got all the Language Arts department drinks from Sonic. I love it when we have Sonic runs. I think they make the day bearable. Plus, the icy cold drink is refreshing especially when the kids are NOT!
I'm excited for all the guests to begin arriving. My grandparents are already here, so Murad and I had them over for dinner last night. It was a lot of fun just eating and enjoying each other's company. Of course, we had basketball on in the background (who doesn't during this time of year?) Murad's friend Jamal and my maid of honor Himee arrive on Wednesday and most of our wedding party arrives on Thursday! I can not wait for everyone to get here. I think my favorite part of our wedding is the meshing of the families. Murad and I both value time spent with our families and we're so happy to share our home, city and wedding with everyone!
I made my to-do list today.
Tonight: fold programs
Tomorrow: grad school assignments, mid-term, grade papers, laundry
Monday: run errands & make calls
Tuesday: hair trial, nails and eyebrow waxing
Wednesday: pack!
Thursday: Bachelorette Party
Friday: Decorate, Rehearsal, Rehearsal Dinner
Saturday: GET MARRIED!

I can honestly say I'm so excited to get married. I absolutely love spring and so it was a perfect season for us to wed during. Not only did we meet in spring, but it's MARCH MADNESS! Plus, we didn't want our guests to endure a Texas summer. Way too hot! Everything is fresh and blossoming in spring. However, right now it is currently 50 degrees. I've checked the weather everyday for March 21st and currently the temperature is supposed to be in 70's with a 10% chance for rain.
Keep your fingers crossed! The next time I post, I'll be married (with pictures to post!)

No More Fast Food

That's right, folks! I've sworn off fast foods! I decided to do that until the wedding, but with Lent just around the corner, might as well make it Easter! Maybe if I can do without until Easter, then I can forgo it forever! I mean I might as well. When Murad and I have kids, I definitely do not want them to eat McDonalds, Taco Bell, and all that stuff. Those things can be reserved for when they go to the grandparents' or other kids' homes, but I just do want to rely on that stuff when we have kids. i know that's an ambitious goal especially since, I'll be a working mom, but I can try, right?

My reasons started out purely superficial and economical. 1. the wedding is right around the corner. I need to make sure I look my best and taking fast food (and my beloved wine) out of my diet will help me shed a few pounds. 2. Murad and I spend a lot of our budget eating out each month. So, I've made it my mission to cook more. I'm so lucky that my friends made me a recipe book for my Wichita wedding shower, so now I can cook more. I've also been researching quick and easy recipes on the internet. Murad is my guinea pig and so far, he's LOVED everything I've made. I figure if we can save money by not eating fast food we can splurge every few weeks with a nice dinner out at a nice restaurant!

Speaking of eating out....Murad and i had a nice dinner at Genghis Grill on Saturday. It's one of our favorite places, as we're both fans of Mongolian barbeques. It was a pretty low-key V-day, but spent with the one I love, so it was very special!

So, I'm very opposed to talking about money, but Murad thinks I should on here. I think when people use words like, "low-budget" and "low-cost" it can be very misleading. However, Murad was very impressed at how well we stayed in our wedding budget and how we've planned a nice wedding for a relatively (subjective) low-cost, especially for living in Dallas. So, I'm wondering if people (brides-to-be or wedding obsessed folks like myself living in the DFW Metroplex) would like to see a breakdown of how we planned our wedding? I will say we did receive many monetary gifts, discounts and free services. We also did without some things we wanted, but we had all the most important things. I probably will post it in the next couple of days or weeks, as soon as I have more things finalized. I will say that the average cost for a wedding is $28,800. Murad and I were under half of that average.

Designer Ashlea

designs include: bookmark gifts I made for the hostesses of my work shower and flyer I made for the University of North Texas. I can't figure out how to make the rehearsal dinner show up in full. I'll take a picture of the actual invite after the wedding and post on here. I'll also post a picture of my wedding invitations. I think they turned out so beautiful!

Happy Valentine's Day

So an update on the pre-marital seminar we attended last Saturday. Murad and I both received emails from the coordinator stating:

Future Brides and Grooms,

First of all, I'd like to say Thank you to each of you that took the time to come out on an otherwise busy Saturday to invest in the future of your marriages/relationships. It is with much chagrin that I have come to realize that there were a number of comments and statements expressed by the facilitator that were offensive and insulting. I apologize!

While Mr. P is a facilitator for I F, his views are not ours and they by no means represent the approved curriculum that he was certified to facilitate for the T in T program. The sole purpose of the classes are to help couples develop communication and conflict resolution skills and other tools for a strong relationship.

Inspiring Families is committed to helping families strengthen and improve the quality of their marriages and relationships through education and collaboration and our collaboration with ANTHEM is one where we receive professional training, technical assistance, and evaluative feedback to ensure that the T T program services are facilitated with integrity and no bias. Quality workshops is the goal of our service delivery so please be assured that the 'workshop experience' that you and your fiance experienced on Saturday February 7 is not a common or acceptable practice and we are dealing with the issue.

I welcome and encourage you to join us at any of our upcoming workshops. As shared in all my workshops, we welcome any and all comments and feedback and will do our best to make sure your workshop experience is one that you will remember for a lifetime!

If you have any additional questions or comments, please call or email anytime.

Again, Thank you for your time!

Small victory, but at least it won't happen in another workshop. We weren't the only ones who received the email, so I'm guessing others gave him a bad review as well.

So, we've had a little dog stay with us for the past couple of weeks and it just really reaffirmed how much I love Sampson & Maya. First of all, Trey is a great dog, but he is just a little annoying. Just a tad bit. Here are some of the things I love about each dog:

Sampson--our first born....well not our first born, but we got Sam first. Sam is truly our dog. If one of the dogs is sick and accidentally throws up or has diarrhea, Sam will try to hide the mess from us. I've caught him pushing his nose on the carpet trying to put something over the mess. Once Maya got sick and he picked up my jacket and put it over her mess. Wasn't too happy about the state of that jacket. I love how Sam will let Maya sleep in the bed, but in the morning he'll get up and come in the bed with us. Sam is not a very fast runner, but he does have stamina. He is a fighter though. I've seen him go to town on some other dogs at that dog park who looked at Maya the wrong way. He loves his sister. I also love that every other dog is intimidated by Sam. It's funny to watch dogs allow their beloved toys to be destroyed by Sam. Sam is just so regal. His body is so beautiful. At 80 pounds, we're convinced there is some Malamute blood in these huskies.

Maya--she came to us a little later, but she's from the same litter as Sam. Maya is our free spirit. She's adventurous, a natural hunter (she's caught a duck before), and she's our jokester. Each day, when I get the dogs ready for their morning walk, Maya loves to play a game with me. She'll move around so that I can't put her harness on her. When she's ready to go finally, she'll sit down and put her paw up. It's almost like she's saying, "I'm ready, Mommy!"Maya is also very loving. With Trey around, she has shown her maternal instincts. Last night, Murad goes, "Ash, she acts like a mother, but not really." I totally understood what he meant. Maya is our cool, free spirit dog who loves to play, but she's also very nurturing as well. Maya always is the first to go to bed with me. Both she and Sam will let me sleep in if I need to, which I greatly appreciate!

My dogs have such beautiful, kind, energetic souls! I could not imagine my life without them!

Well, I'm off to clean. I just wanted to give you some puppy love for this wonderful Valenttine's Day!

My New Favorite website

This site was passed along to me by my friend, Jodi at work. http://www.moneysavingmom.com/
I am now officially obsessed! This woman is awesome! She is so frugal and shares her lessons in home economics. She and her husband live in Olathe, Kansas. They are getting ready to buy their first home 100% cash! I wish I would've known about this site before Murad and I started saving for our wedding. However, I think it will help us save for a house. Murad and I live pretty well, but also not excessive. We're good at saving, but things got a little rough in the midst of planning our wedding and switching jobs, so the credit cards did get used. However, we have a good plan to pay it all off and still save for a house. I'm also going to help pad our savings and pay for part of my car repairs by working summer school. I do not think we'll pay 100% for our home though. Nice dream, but probably not going to happen for us. There are some things I just can't do....like move back in with my parents. No way!

This week at work has been difficult! So many kid, so many problems! I also just had a hectic work schedule. I only went to the gym once this week, which means I gotta wake my ass up early to hit the gym tomorrow. I love my students, but sometimes it can be so stressful. I hate having to be so strict, but some kids lack respect for anyone, including themselves. Of course, TAKS stress is taking over as well. I can't believe it is around the corner. March 3rd is the Writing TAKS. I do love teaching writing though. I love watching them realize that they are writers. Some of them have such original, fresh manuscripts. One of the downfalls of teaching in Texas is that you do teach to the test to a certain extent. One of my students goes, "my friend in California gets to do creative writing in her 7th grade English class." i guess she learned early that life is not fair.

So, my dad may finally going to retire. He was going to wait a couple more years and save more money, but how much of a difference can two years make? I'm just glad because his health has really taken a decline in the last couple of months and I just didn't think he realized how much working was affecting it. Luckily, my dad was smart and married a younger woman, so my mom can still work for at least ten more years. My dad will still work, just not full-time and probably not at his current job. I'm just so happy for him!

Forty Two Days

We have forty two days until we are married! Woo-hoo! I'm just sitting here enjoying a nice glass of wine after a long Saturday. Murad and I had our premarital class today. Since we aren't getting married in a church, we had to find premarita lcounseling outside of a religious organization. Luckily, on September 1st, 2008 the state of texas decided to offer free premarital classes and waive the $60 marriage license fee to those who complete a course. Of course, Murad and I jumped at the opportunity. The class was good. We learned a lot about how we communicate and why we argue and how we handle our arguments. We did not like the conservative religious overtones that the instructor kept trying to apply. I just didn't think that was fair for a class offered by the state of Texas. It was just very one-sided. He even told Murad in the restroom that statistically our marriage was doomed to fail since we were different religions. Can you believe that? Why wouldn't you want to encourage love and understanding between different religions?
In addition, the instructor made a lot of cultural assumptions and reinforced gender stereotypes. One girl even raised her hand and asked why we couldn't challenge these gender stereotypes and try to be better people, but of course the professor came back with some bull shit answer. I just think he didn't really give men enough credit. He made men seem so one dimensional (sex-focused). My fiance is a wonderful, caring, sensitive man who is capable of showing his emotion. Sure we have differences because we're male and female, but why not focus on our similarities and how those strengthen our relationship, rather than our differences? Anyways, I felt the course was just a tad too Biblical (especially for a state course...if we were at a church, that'd be different) and too preachy and not enough interaction. I think he made the assumption that all Christians are the same way, but in reality we're all so different.
It's just ironic because Murad and I come from two totally different backgrounds, but we have the same world view. Both of our religions teach the same guiding principles. I grew up with two parents who love each other so much and I had that model to guide me into marriage. Murad saw the mistakes his parents made and that led him to his views on marriage. Our difference help to balance us as well. I'm the typical oldest child and Murad is the typical youngest child, but for some reason we work well together. I guess attending the workshop did help us to realize how much we not only love each other, but how well we work together. I know there will be rough patches, but I know we'll always get through it! I'm just so happy to be marrying my soulmate!
Okay, enough of my soapbox!
Wedding Updates!
--Can I just say how much I love to receive response cards in the mail. I actually check my mail everyday now!
--Murad and I picked out our wedding bands at Sam's Club. You heard right. SAM'S CLUB! We decided on simple platinum bands for the both of us. While I really wanted diamonds in my band, we just cannot afford them. I could've gotten white gold with diamonds in it, but since my engagement ring is platinum I have to get a platinum band. It's not good to have platinum and white gold next to each other. Murad and I decided that for our 10 year anniversary we'll each update. I'll get a platinum eternity band and he'll get a new platinum band with a diamond in it. We'll save our old bands for our children. I'm really excited. I know this sounds weird, but I love that Murad bought me platinum. I so wanted white gold when we first talked about getting engaged (because I wanted a bigger rock!), but when Murad told me how pure platinum was and compared it to our love (PURE!) I just melted. Murad can be so stereotypically manly, but he can be so thoughtful and considerate. He always wants the best for us!
--Pappy's Pet Lodge! So, I went there to find a place to house my two dogs, my mom's dog and my grandma's two dogs the night of the wedding. I absolutely love that place! The people there are so friendly and truly LOVE dogs. They're so interactive. I can't wait for Maya and Sam to go there. They're so friendly. We are so lucky that Maya and Sam are friendly too. They love people and they love playing with other dogs. Right now Trey is staying with us for a bit and it's so funny to see how they interact with him. Jasmine, my mom's dog, is not friendly and therefore, she will be in a private kennel. CiCi & Maggie, my grandmother's dogs, are very sheltered. My grandma has some strange habits with them. For example, her dogs don't play outside. Yeah, for real. Anyways, I highly recommend Pappy's Pet Lodge to anyone living in North Dallas.

Well, we've finally had some good news in our household:
--Murad got voted into UPC! This will be another boost to his resume or vita for grad school applications! He's already secured a celebrity to come to UNT next month. Since it was such short notice, they asked me to design the flyer! I'm so excited! Even though it's not a paid gig, it's a start. I'm hoping to start building a portfolio of things I design. I'm seriously considering doing some paper design stuff on the side! It's something I'm very interested in pursuing for the future. I love designing paper supplies. I had so much designing stuff for my wedding. I learned so much from making my save the dates (I would've made them so differently if I knew what I do now) and then designing and making my invitations. I'm also going to make my brother's graduation invitations.
--Murad and I are going to start volunteering. He's working on a big project for school and if we volunteer together, it will really help him out. We are going to volunteer at a center for pregnant teens about once a month. I think we'll start after the wedding. I know it means more on our plate, but I think service is so important. Plus, when you add something good to your schedule, you rarely feel the effects...right? I think this will be a good model for when we have kids. I defintiely want service to be a part of our children's vocabulary. I think working with pregnant teens will be so eye-opening for me. I mean, I know friends and family who have had babies at a young age, but I've never really discussed with them the daily worries, stress, joys, etc. I know this sounds weird but, teen mothers really fascinate me!
--My dad is out of the hospital! He finally went home on Friday. He was so sick. The flu really affected him and he was in the hospital for over a week and a half. He was incoherent and confused a lot of the time, so that was really hard for me. I just am used to my confident, strong dad, but he wasn't making sense at all. Just keep him in your prayers as he recovers and prepares to go back to work.

Update!

So the lump in my breast turned out to be a cyst. Whew! I do not have to get it drained unless it becomes painful, so that is also another major relief! However, on Friday night my car did die in the middle of the road. Yeah, not so great! However, the repair ended up being minor so that's good. I just want this car to last me. I'll have it paid off in June 2010 (a big boost to my credit score...Murad and I are obsessed with our credit...we would like to be homeowners in 2010 or at least looking). When it's paid off I'd like to have at for a few more years until I have to buy a new one which will most likely be an SUV since it'll be close to when we'll have kiddos. It just sucks that it's falling apart after my warranty expired! I think they plan it on purpose.

Well, Monday was my 27th birthday. I wasn't looking forward to it because my weekend just sucked. Murad gave me my birthday present early on Saturday because he had already opened it and watched it (it was the 2nd season of the Boondocks on DVD). I was pretty pissed, but I just smiled and said thanks. Then on Monday I came home and he had gotten me a birthday cake (buttercream...my favorite) and an MP3 player. I had no idea he was going to get that for me. He said, "I always hear you saying how you want an MP3 player to use when you work out, so I saved up and got you one." Money has been tight (or non-existent) in our household, so I was very surprised and appreciative of the gift. Murad is so not romantic, but he when he surprises me like that, I just melt.

At work on Monday, I received some cards and my department head bought donuts for everyone in celebration of my big day. I was pretty excited.

I've just been a funk lately. I worry about things I can't control and about things that are not really that big of a deal. It's just in my nature to worry. My mom and grandmother are worriers. Murad hates that trait in me. I really do not have much to worry about. I have a great life with a great fiance, two great dogs, and a great family, but I just worry so much that something is going to threaten that. I worry about money all the time which amuses my mom because, to quote her, "you're better with money than we are. You are definitely better than your brother is with money." Not hard to beat my brother! I just need to lighten up and pat myself on the back. I just don't know how to do that. Any suggestions?

Well, I need to get off my self-hating behavior. Today was a snow day, or should I say ice day. While I was excited to sleep in and have the day off, I'm not excited to work the Friday before spring break. Ehh! Not exciting. However, I did get a lot done today. Graded papers, did some wedding stuff, folded clothes, did some dishes. It was a good day! I also got to watch lots of TV! There are way too many commercials for Everest College, Remington College and Medvance on TV during the day.

On a sad note, my dad is in the hospital. He has pneumonia and after two rounds of medication, they decided to admit him today. I'm hoping they can clear it up and he can go home soon. I hate that my daddy gets so sick so easily. Ever since his brain tumor was removed in 2002, he's battled with back problems, infections, and other ailments. He is such a trooper. He always keeps a positive attitude, but at 62 years old, he can only take so much. Today, he said "I do not want to go to the hospital. I can't stand f*#!ing hospital food!" That's my dad! Keep him in your prayers!

Historic Moment

What a great time to be an American; am I wrong? I love watching the inauguration. I haven't watched the inauguration since the Clintons (oops) (I loved Fleetwood Mac's performance of "Don't Stop" at the Clinton inauguration), so it was truly exciting to watch it today. Sadly though, some of my students didn't know a lot about the president or the inauguration. "Miss, who is Joe Biden?" "Where are they?" Yeah, the future of America is looking bleak.

It does make me sad though that people aren't more excited about him being in office. Well, I take that back, most people are excited, but some people are just being HATERS! I think no matter what your political beliefs are, you should always respect your commander-in-chief. I think as a Christian you should always pray for your leaders and trust that the Lord is guiding them to do His will. Even though I NEVER agreed with Bush, I still respected him while he was in office and still respect him. (I'm kind of excited that he's moving to Dallas! CELEBRITY!)

Also, I know there are people who think he only got voted because he was black, like this is some kind of popularity poll or something. (hello, electoral college kind of kills that theory). I know there are probably some idiots who only voted for him because he's black and there are some idiots who voted against him because he's black. I know some people voted for him because they were so fed up with Bush and Obama is a Democrat. I know that's not right either. I can honestly say that if Hilary won, Murad and I probably would've voted for McCain (we're fans of Bill, not Hill!). I think most importantly, Obama represents the values of everyman. He champions for all, not just the rich and the poor, but the guy in the middle.

Back to the inauguration....I loved, loved, loved Alicia Key's dress! It was so cute. Form-fitting in all the right places, but still classy enough to wear in front of our nation's leader!

Anyways, that's my two cents on the inauguration!

Well, some exciting and not-so exciting news!
Exciting first:
Murad and I have our rehearsal dinner tasting tomorrow! Woo-hoo! I can't wait to taste the food. We are so lucky that his dad and stepmom are hosting the rehearsal dinner. It will be a fantastic night and a great opportunity for our families to meet in a more intimate setting than the wedding. Murad's family will also meet Abby's family for the first time, so it will be an interesting time all around!
I meet with the photographer on Saturday to go over the pictures we want for the wedding!
My birthday is on Monday! Can you believe that I will be 27 years old? I feel so old! I'm now in the "late twenties" category.
Well the not-so-good news is that at my well-woman exam the doctor found a lump in my breast. I noticed the lump last week, but didn't think anything of it because it was that time of the month. So, when my doctor noticed it, I knew something was up. They're pretty sure it's benign and my mom and my grandma both have a history of cysts in their breasts, so I'm not too worried. Still, I am a little scared. I have to go get a sonogram and mammogram. Not gonna lie. I'm freaked out about the mammogram. It does not sound fun at all!!!!! I just think that thingy is going to hurt. Luckily, Murad is going to go with me. So, keep me in your prayers. Not so much for the results, but for the process. Eek! I shudder just thinking about it.

Something Stolen...

I stole this from katie's professional blog! enjoy!

TAG! You're it!

I'm such a slacker. This was sent to me by Lara! Sorry I'm just now getting to it!

Here are The Rules:
1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Write six random things about yourself.
4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them.
5. Let each person know they've been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

1. most things in my apartment are covered in dog fur. I often find dog fur on my body in not so great places and wonder how it got there.
2. i love planning all the details of our wedding. it's kind of like my baby. i'm so proud that i'm cheap and crafty enough to make most of the things myself so thatwe could splurge on the location, food and drinks.
3. i use wikipedia as a fact checker. I often dispute pop culture knowledge with phrases like, "well, according to wikipedia," "I read about that on Wikipedia and that is not what happened."
4. i'm pretty country. i say stuff like "fixin" in my lexicon "git" and "go" are synonyms. My mom says, "warshing"
5. i don't like clutter, but i don't know how to get rid of it.
6. i had never been to the east coast until i met my fiance and now i love the east coast!
Tag! You're it!
Elaina, Katie, Jodi, Lynsey, Tish, Amber

I'm Back!

I enjoyed a nice, relaxing break and I so happy it's 2009! A few highlights of December 2008:
Christmas
We had Abby at Christmas this year. It was the first time she had met my little brother and half of my extended family. This year we had a mini-reunion at Christmas and we had a great time. Abby got to ride her first horse (which is odd because she lives in a small-town in Kansas and her grandparents live across the street from some stables) Anyways, we had a lovely time with the family, but I think with our two huge dogs and hyperactive daughter, my parents and brother weren't sad to see us leave.

Lynsey
I got to see Lynsey! Lynsey came back from Denmark for Christmas break! We got together with some other members of LAD for a yummy dinner and Margaritas at Gloria's! My favorite place! It was good times with my old NJWPT/Groggy friend

Some low points of December 2008:
LAD Christmas
getting so enibriated at the LAD Christmas party that I entered a bipolar state. First it was crying over my cousin's death and then laughing hysterically. Murad came to pick me up and I'm pretty sure he was confused. I was crying over Philip, then laughing, then I threw up when I got home and then tried to seduce him. nice

loss of a former student
one of my former students died on christmas day. i taught both her and her older sister and it was during that time that their father died in a car wreck while they were on vacation in Hawaii. it's still hard to believe that this happened to their family again.
car problems
on new year's eve I was found out my car has about $2000 worth work that needs to be done....still trying to figure out that one!

It's a New Year though and I'm trying to focus on the positive! We spent New Year's with Abby here in Dallas. This was a big change from my previous New Year's Eve in which I almost got into a fight! I guess I'm growing up!? Don't answer that! I also had a wonderful shower thrown for me by Amber & Katie in Wichita. It was so great to have the ladies in my life there to celebrate our upcoming marriage. I got tons of great gifts, but most importantly I got to see old friends and family. Katie & Amber really outdid themselves. They made cupcakes with periwinkle icing, favors with periwinkle mints, and chocolate covered pretzels. They also had a hot chocolate bar and other tons of goodies. We played a fun mad lib wedding game. I think I was apalled by the lack of grammar knowledge my friends and family have. We said an inspiring prayer and watched a wonderful slideshow of our engagement pictures. It was the best shower I've attended! My aunt goes, "Ashlea you're the only one in the family whose shower is more than three weeks away from the wedding and you're not pregnant." We are so country. I love my family though!

the wedding is approaching! I finished the invitations and they're going out Tuesday! On Wednesday we are officially two months away from the big day! On Wednesday Murad and I have our tasting for the rehearsal dinner and I meet with the photographer on Saturday. We did get some bad news, not only are Murad's mom and little brother not coming to the wedding, but neither are his aunt and his little cousin. So now, Abby is our only flowergirl. Murad and I both are really bummed. I'm not sure how we'll tell Abby. We also had a little snag with the flowergirl dress for Abby. When we looked at the measurements they didn't match so we had to find a new dress that would fit her. I actually like the new dress better. It already arrived, but I have to send it back because they sent the wrong size.

so you may be asking yourself, what will Ashlea obsess over after this wedding is over? LOTS!
Graduation
Immediately after the wedding Ryan and I graduate. However, we're only going to Ryan's graduation. I already have one master's degree so I don't feel the need to attend this graduation, but this is Ryan's big day!
Redecorating
I want to buy some furniture and refinish it for our apartment. I want to find an armoire for the living room TV, a dresser for Abby and a nightstand for our bedroom. Our apartment kind of has a shabby shic/cottage/vintage feel so I'm looking for things that echo that theme.
prepping
Murad will prep for grad school this summer and next fall. His top two choices are Wichita State University and SMU. Wichita would be ideal because we'd be close to my parents (some may say too close) and we'd be closer to Abby. Right now she really needs us in her life. SMU would also be ideal because we could stay here. He is applying to some other schools too, so we'll see where we end up! I'm excited either way
saving
right now all our extra money goes towards this f--ing wedding, but afterwards it will go towards paying off any lingering wedding debt and saving for a house. We hope to buy in the summer 2010. Even if we don't buy, we'd like to be in a house instead of an apartment. Murad and I are both trying to build our credit (mine is good, but why not get it better) so maybe we won't have to make a down payment, but just have more in savings
honeymooning
we are either taking our honeymoon in August 09 or March 2010 (our one year anniversary) we couldn't afford to go right after our wedding, so we figured that would give us time to save $. We're leaning more towards March so that we can have Abby with us for the whole summer this summer. We have already decided that we are going to Punta Cana, Dominican Republic! I'm so pumped!

more dogs
we're thinking of getting a little dog to complete our crazy family. i know...we're crazy!

TTC (trying to conceive)
Sorry to get your hopes up, but we won't try to conceive for a while. Murad and I both don't want kids before the age 30, so fall 2011 is the earliest we'll ttc. we love our freedom right now and having a baby would change all that. That means that Abby will be at least 10 years older than her siblings from us. I think it will be good because she will get to be a true big sister to them. Right now she is only three years older than her sister from her mom and they have the more traditional sister relationship.

Well that's an update on my life! Hope you enjoy. I'll try to write more!

And the winner is....

Wow, three posts in one day! Okay, so I'll post the picture of the winning flower girl dress. I'm also posting a picture of my wedding day shoes! I love them and my shower invitation that my bridesmaid (and best friend) Amber designed. I'm so lucky to have her as a friend. The invitations are beautiful and I know that she put so much effort into making them. I can not wait for my shower. I know she and Katie have tons of surprises in store!

Some pictures from Thanksgiving

Some pictures from our trip to New Jersey & Pennsylvania! Isn't Murad so handsome? I'm so in love! Okay, I need to stop gushing!

Pictures of my dogs

Because I love them! I took these pictures because I was going to use them to make Christmas cards, but I ran out of $$! Aren't they so cute! I put treats in the hats to get them to go after the hats, but they tried to chew them up without the treats

probably the hardest thing...

for me to find is the perfect flower girl dress. I want something that is not junior bride-ish and periwinkle, but that's impossible. All the periwinkle dresses have spaghetti straps and are A-line which is not my style at all. I found a cute baby blue dress that would work, but I'm afraid that it won't be purple enough to match the lavendar hue in periwinkle. I found a cute one that is ivory with a perwinkle sash. So, I need y'alls vote! Dress #1 is ivory dress/periwinkle ribbon ( I would like this to be reversed ideally, but this will do) I love the style of this dress...i.e. no spaghetti straps with poofy little girl skirt. Dress #2 is not the actual dress I found (lost the website), but it's the baby blue color I'm worried about. The actual dress is more of the style of the first dress. I could add a champagne or ivory sash to it, as well. Dress #3 is periwinkle and that's about all I like about it. hate the cleavage and spaghetti straps. let me know!

It's the most Wonderful Time of the Year!

It is actually cold here in Dallas! 37 degrees, but it feels so much colder outside! I love it and so do my dogs. It actually feels like Christmas. I feel like I'm starting to come out of my depression, which is surprising because winter makes you want to curl up under the covers. I feel good about my life and what is to come. I still get really sad, but the persistent feeling fades away. I'm ready to start really living!

Thanksgiving was awesome! Murad and I had a great time with his family in New Jersey. One of the highlights was going to the Thanksgiving Night Philadelphia Eagles game. Murad's dad got us tickets to the pre-game party. The Pre-Game party was held at the stadium in which the Phillie's play, so that was pretty cool (in case you didn't know, the Phillies won the World Series 2008). I, of course, took advantage of the free alcohol provided. We skipped the buffet because we were both pretty full from attending dinner at his aunt's house and his dad's house. We then ran across the street to Lincoln Financial Field for the Eagles game against Arizona. It was awesome to see Donovan McNabb come out. He crawled out like a lion. Murad's dad got us awesome seats, so we got to see all the action! It was so cold outside, but Murad and I were on a high; an NFL high! Thank goodness, the EAGLES WON!

The rest of the week, we mostly hung out at Murad's brother's apartment. We played Wii-bowling until 2:30am most nights. It was so much fun! I love that game! There were a lot of competitions going around those nights between Murad, Qadree (Murad's bro) and Joel (Qadree's roommate). Murad and I decided our next big purchase will be a Wii. We also found out that Abby is going to bring her Wii when she comes to stay with us.

While we were in NJ we got treated like queens and kings and I drank a lot while we were there. Murad's bro made sure I always had a beer in my hand (score point). We met up with Murad's old cross country coach and his fiance and I had quite a bit of beer and wine. While we were there, Murad's aunt and stepmom cooked us a feast of a breakfast one morning. We also went to visit his aunt and uncle in North Jersey who fed us as well. Lots of eating. Probably not good for me, but oh well!

We've had to adjust to reality, but luckily Christmas is just around the corner, so just a couple more weeks of madness. We started celebrating early by having people over for dinner on Saturday. We had our friend Christina (my bridesmaid) over along with our friends John & Shawndra. We met John & Shawndra at a relationship panel the day before Valentine's Day. They've been married for a little over a year now. Ironically, our friendship with them started because John and Murad got into an argument about religion and relationships. John argued that both people needed to be Christian, and Murad was like "no way, I'm not like that. " Anyways, we ended up becoming good friends with them, despite our differences. They are a really fun couple. Sadly, they're moving in July to Atlanta to start a church.

We're going to Kansas on December 22nd or 23rd. We're stopping in Meade to see Abby and her family. Abby is going to spend Christmas with our family, so we'll drive to Wichita on Christmas Eve for the service at my church. Then on Christmas Day we're going to my aunt's house for Christmas. My aunt and uncle have this huge building on their land that we use for family events. It is like a big game room with a kitchen, guest room and two bathrooms. It's going to be like a huge family reunion because a lot of us have moved away in the past year(s). My cousin Randi (who I am so EXCITED to see) will be there with her six children (her husband is overseas, so he won't be there). My cousin Micah and her husband will be there from Australia, and my aunt Lori will be there from D.C. Randi and my Aunt Lisa both have daughters Abby's age, so I think it will be a lot of fun for her. The next day we're heading back to Dallas with Abby (Murad has to work.) Then Abby and I will come back to Wichita on January 1st and then my wedding shower is on January 3rd Woo-hoo! Abby's grandma and aunt are coming, so they'll pick up Abby and take her back to Meade then. So a busy Christmas, but a good one. I'm excited! I know some parts of Christmas will be hard. We used to always do Christmas with my aunt's family (Philip's family) after Christmas. Usually my cousins would stay a couple of days with us afterwards, but we haven't done this in a while. Hopefully, I can reflect on the good times and those good memories.

I do have some things I need to get done over Christmas break:
do my grad school internship reflections
make my invitations
address my invitations
order a bird cage to use as our card holder
order table runners

yeah, I've kind of forgotten about getting married. haha! There is still so much to do, but I will get it done, right?
Well, I need to end this post.

Guess what...it's snowing!

Forgot to Post

I'm so excited for this...

So Blessed!

Well, my past couple of blog entries have been kind of blah! However, Murad and I are truly blessed.
1. We get to go to the Philadelphia Eagles game on Thanksgiving Day! Murad's dad got us tickets, so it will be a lot of fun! I've never been to a real NFL game, so this will be once in a lifetime experience for me. Yeah!
2. I work with a great group of people. Today, Murad's friend bailed on watching our dogs. Two days before we leave for New Jersey! AAAHHH! Imagine my frustration! I sent out a frantic email to my co-workers and so many people responded with help. I've never felt so much concern at once and it was true concern. We are so lucky!

Things have been going better. Friday and Saturday were extremely hard for me, but by Sunday I started feeling better. I do feel overwhelmed though. I have a ton of things to do before we go out of town, which is precisely why I'm procrastinating and updating my blog!

I also need to start doing wedding stuff! I had my make-up trial on Saturday. It was kind of disheartening. Even though my hairdresser is doing my hair & make-up free of charge, I think I might look into something else. We'll see. I am going to take some of my hair stylists tips to heart though. I am going to have a facial a week before the wedding, but I'm not going tanning.

I also need to find a place to buy alcohol that will let us return unopened bottles! Our venue allows us to bring in our own alcohol (nice! most of the places we looked at charged $20pp+ just for beer & wine) We can't bring in kegs.We're bringing in beer (two different types...any suggestions?), red wine, white wine, and then all the basic alcohols for mixed drinks. We're also doing a blue lemonade signature drink. Yummy! Our caterer brings everything else and also serves as our bartender.

Murad and I need to decide on when we're going to pre-marital counseling! IMPORTANT! I think it's something we both will benefit from. Even though we are so in LOVE! We have some issues that we need to remedy or at least work on before the big day. Communication seems like it's an issue for us. Even though we work through it, it would be nice to know how to prevent it.

I also need to decide on a florist. I'm thinking of using Central Market for our bouquets. I know it sounds weird to use a supermarket as your florist, but I don't care. I'm all about saving a buck. I want to use silk florals for the decor and for Abby & Kaylea's pomander balls. Murad and his guys will wear jeweled boutonnières. I want sort of pale flowers for us girls and blues & purples (with sunflowers for my Kansas heritage)for the little girls. I know it doesn't sound like it matches, but you'll see (or maybe you won't). Also, I'm ordering chair sashes to use as table runners (a lot cheaper than ordering actual table runners $10 for all tables vs. $10 for each table). I'm also ordering an antique bird cage to use as our card holder. So many details and only one day of our life! Oh well, it's the first day!

I can not wait for the days to come. Murad and I can not wait for the future. I'm excited for him to start grad school and to finish it so we can be rich (or better off than we are now)! He's decided to add North Texas (which is where he is working on his 2nd bachelors) to his list of schools to apply. I think he really wants to stay in Dallas. One reason he wants to stay is because the Cowboys always play the Eagles, so he can still see his team! Most important, right? Plus, he and I have really built our lives here. We have a good group of friends. We'll see if we can stay here though. We have at least one more year to decide!

Will it ever get any better?

I wonder this and it's been a question on my mind a lot this week. Yesterday my car battery died and we're not having an office Christmas Party. I think that made me have a nervous breakdown last night (not literally). I literally felt sick at the end of the day. I really can not believe we're having an office Christmas party. Nobody wants to volunteer their home and nobody cares enough to hang out outside of school. It's just sad. It's pretty indicative of how this school year has been.

On top of that I'm still having a hard time with my cousin's death. I can barely make it through the day without crying. I guess right now I'm going through the anger stage. I'm just so mad that he's not here. I'm so mad at him for putting us all through this. I'm mad because most people have good memories to remember their deceased loved one. I do, but they're mostly from when we were children or teenagers. When he entered adulthood, those happy memories were few and far between. He put our family through a lot, but it wasn't supposed to be over. He still had a chance to make something of his life and I just can not accept that he's not here to do that. I saw his last phone call to me in my cell phone last night while Murad and I were at dinner and I just lost it. I wasn't even looking for his number, I was just looking at old calls and there was his name. Uggh...

My other cousins, Philip's sister and bro, are supposed to come visit me soon, so I think that will help bring my mood up.

I need to start making my invitations, but every time I think about making them, I think that he's supposed to get an invitation and he's not. There will be no invitation for him.

I just hope my mood changes. This is supposed to be the happiest time in my life, but I feel my luck is bad and my attitude is so negative. I know I have so many things for which to be thankful. God has blessed my family in so many areas and he continues to bless Murad and I as a couple. I know I need to focus on those things, but sometimes it's hard. I'm hoping the holidays will help, but honestly I do not know what to expect. Murad and I leave for New Jersey on Wednesday morning. I am excited to get away, but I have so much to do to prepare. Plus, I will be away from my babies for almost a week. Sometimes I don't know how to sleep without Maya curled up at my feet and Sampson near me or right on the floor beside my bed. They're just so lovey and fluffy! I love relaxing with them on Saturday afternoons and watching them play at the dog park. I think if anything helps me to feel better it's being with them. They love me and always want to be near me. They're always happy to see me and I love it! I love them so much! I need to post pictures of them soon. I just designed my Christmas cards and they are of pictures of them tearing up Santa's hat! It's going to be so cute. Stay tuned for more pics!!!